Tired

Perhaps it is the world we are living in.
Perhaps it is my age.
I am tired.
So tired that if I could I would quit.
It isn't that my job is any more difficult than it was before. Nor is it that I am incapable of doing my job well. But I am losing my grip. I notice that I miss having a walk on a cool October morning. I don't have time to bake, to sew, to draw. I don't have time to clean. My house is a disaster area because between my "full time" job that lasts days on in and my husband's pieced together quilt of part time work, nobody is at home in any amount of time. Dustbunnies are flourishing under my bed. What laundry I wash and dry seldom gets folded and put away. The cursory cleaning I do of the kitchen and bath keeps the Health Dept at bay, but in reality it creates a lonely world because I am too embarrassed to have anyone come over.
I am so tired.
I am so sad.
Sometimes I am scared. The world has become a scary place. It's safer and more secure when you are the World's Cop than when you are the World's Piggybank. I love how nations that revile us are so quick to stick out their hands. In the meantime, here at home we have a president who seems disinterested in the heavy lifting of governing. He leads an alphabet soup of  Federal agencies and offices that seem to be nothing more than organized theft and spy rings intent on stealing from and spying on people like me. I see my kids struggle. They put off buying homes. They put off having kids. And these are the very people who should be parents. In the meantime ignorant inbred folks breed like bunnies assured a Federal handout will come with every new kiddo.

What has happened to us? When did we allow small groups to dictate to the large ones? When did we replace rule of law with the rule of who is loudest? I watch the news and the protesters in Ferguson are little different than those mobs that call themselves ISIS in Syria and Iraq. They only want their views expressed and they're willing to kill and main anyone who dares to have a different view. This is not the way it used to be. And it's not the way it should be. What has happened to us?