Hard Christmas

I am trying very hard to be upbeat.
I have done projects that echo Christmas. I have allowed my students to decorate my classroom door. I have attended the faculty Christmas party and am participating in Secret Santa. I just wish it didn't feel so hollow. I haven't really bought one gift. And despite the late date, I don't feel like spending the money. Our financial situation is so desperate that we may end up eventually losing the house. And this doesn't really mean much anymore as the house has serious problems that we cannot afford to repair. The roof, windows and doors need replacing. One shower walls has completely caved in and the other is falling apart. I don't have the skill or strength to do these things myself although I would if I could. I just feel like everything is falling to pieces and there's nothing I can do to stop it.

The one bright light is that my son, three years after college graduation, now has a job beyond fast food. My husband, however, is still essentially unemployed with no compensation and no end in sight. This is the Obama legacy. He is killing us by degrees.