Sunday, December 31, 2006

New Year/New Ideas

I've always approached the New Year as a clean slate. It's a do over. No matter what the problem, you have a chance in this year to solve it. The past few years have been so personally overwhelming, with my father's death on Christmas three years ago and a rising tide of debt and disillusionment, that it was easier to dwell on the past than to approach the future. For whatever reason this year I find myself thinking ahead. At the age of 50, one would think I knew how to navigate this society, but instead I find myself standing back and making commentary. In reviewing this habit, I think that those of us who spend our days looking for flaws often fail to move on and live in the moment. I understand the whole grasshopper vs. ant lifestyle arguement, but at what most people would call Middle Age, there has to be some sort of action taken or your life stagnates and you end up as nothing more than a blip on the census. I want to take action, to live in the moment more. I want to take care of the problems that do occur rather than anticipating the problems that might occur. I want to resolve issues like messy, uncompleted home projects efficiently which doesn't always mean doing it ourselves. I want to use money wisely without hoarding it. I have observed that many older people are so obsessed with money that it becomes a litany. While I have been known to haunt a Big Lots or Dollar Store now and then, I don't want my life to boil down to a listing of every vitamin, toiletry or device that I bought on the cheap. I don't live an extravagant lifestyle, but I find myself wanting to live a more purposeful life. (With apologies to those who have read that book, I haven't and won't, but I don't think he's trademarked the phrase and I will use it where applicable.) I want to create, I want to change, I want to adapt and more than anything I want some time to be my own person. For so long I have been Mommy and Wife and Teacher and such. I want a chance to do all the things I denied myself during those busy years. I want to paint and to write. I want to take classes in Italian and visit famous places. I want to feel that I have the freedom to reclaim what little is left of my personality. I want to be able to sleep without waking up more tired than before I slept. I want to be able to afford dental work without complicated scheduling. I want ziploc bags that open as easily as they do on TV. For right now, I will start with the small stuff. So here's the list and let's see how well I do:
-Get dental work done ($$$$!)
-Get to sleep at a reasonable hour.
-Redo the bedrooms and jettison old stuff.
-Pack away daughter's high school stuff.
-Redo son's room
-Redo the bathroom
-Take an art history class
-Take a painting class
-Learn about fine dining and cooking
-Eat less but enjoy more
-Stop making lists......

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