Special

Our granddaughter is the light of our lives. She's giggly, funny and dramatic. In this strange era we're in, we are supposed to accept the acclamations of toddlers as valid. We're supposed to encourage and especially celebrate and AFFIRM their choices, even though they hold limited ability to reason and limited experience with which to compare. We have teens who claim to be the gender opposite of their birth or even choose to be a different species.

So it with all the pride in the world I tell you-

Our granddaughter is a cheeseburger.

She's told us this for a week now, so by the modern conventions, we should be slathering her with mustard and topping her off with onions and pickles. Don't be ridiculous, you say, and you would be right. She's two. She' s exercising her imagination, her sense of humor and her observations. A couple of weeks back, she was a ballerina. Before that she was a puppy. Next week? Who knows? But again SHE IS TWO YEARS OLD.

This is my point, All kids play with their identities as young children. The membrane between pretend and reality is very thin. The idea that we should honor the whimsical musings of a toddler is a great example of adults not being parents. Parents exist to confirm to the child that their imaginary ideas are not based in reality. It is wonderful for a child to make believe and mimic the world around them. What is not okay is adult projecting their own mental fragility on children for the same of self-gratification.

For example, if a child is given a doctor's play set, you certainly wouldn't demand they start writing prescriptions or operate on siblings. If a child has a toy cash register, you wouldn't send them out to work at the local Dollar Store at the age of four. So why are we letting these soft brained adults ruin children's lives by "affirming" things that simply are not true?

I predict in twenty years, the horror stories of gender reassignment will result in massive lawsuits against name universities, hospitals and individual providers. That American doctors are stubbornly clinging to the disproven theories on gender dysphoria when many other studies showing that gender dysphoria is much more about mental health than physical well being makes them appear they are only in it for the money. What is more, the medical damage done by faulty medication and drastic surgery of otherwise healthy young people will be viewed in the same light that the Chinese recall footbinding today.

We need to stop allowing a tiny minority of the population proselytize for a lifestyle by catering to kids who are already struggling. It's not a secret many of the children going under the knife for drastic surgical removal and alteration of healthy tissue are suffering from a variety of issues including depression, anxiety, autism and many have been sexually assaulted, adding to the trauma. It's time to stop being afraid of being called a bigot for protecting your children. I is also time for the role of parents, most of them mothers, who exhibit signs of mental illness before sacrificing innocent kids on the altar of transgenderism to be addressed.

How To Woke Proof Your Children

 Gosh, I wish I had written this.

As it is, this is one of the snarkiest, funniest and absolutely truthful columns on parenting in the age of COVID that I've read. Read it and share it with anyone who has grandkids or kids. Especially post this on forums where the indecisive #WokeFolks may accidentally realize how dangerous and stupid the agenda of the Left under #JoeBiden has become.

Read this.

Best part:

"...Despite what the clowns running this circus want you to think, it actually IS possible to be 100% certain which gender your baby will identify with, as long as you commit as a parent to stopping entry of brain worms. Fake gender identities are a modern progressive social epidemic induced by the Internet, so it requires some avoidance techniques to prevent this infection.

First, you must shun gender neutrality. Dress your girls like ladies and your boys like off-duty firemen. If your little boy requests to wear a dress to school, tell him firmly that boys do not wear dresses, only girls do, and you refuse to allow him to entertain fantasy notions. If boys are allowed to wear dresses at your school, find a new school. If your children insist there are more than two genders, spend some time at the zoo and challenge them to identify these elusive other genders..."

Phone Addiction: It Makes Crack Look Tame

This has been the environment in our home for too long. With three boys and three little machines attached to them like the nuks they held so tightly as babies, I can no longer reach them. Their attention has been stolen by these screens. Their minds so needing the quick fix of their phones, a simple dinner conversation without a flashing screen has become torture.(Article Linked above in first line....)

My response:
I wish more parents were like you. I teach high school. Worse than that, I teach high school in a district that thought it would be forward thinking and educationally sound to have students bring their own technology into the classroom. So whereas phones were forbidden in class except when teachers needed them for online coursework, now phones are on all the time. Students walk down the hallways, earphones snaked under their clothes, listening to what I can only assume is the soundtrack they believe is underlying their daily lives. They secretly text and watch movies in class, necessitating that they have to sit on the floor in the hallways during lunch, with their chargers plugged in, so that they will be able to text during their afternoon classes.

I've been teaching a long time. Instead of increasing depth of knowledge, the impact of phone addiction (for I truly believe that is the nature of this situation) is that students lack social filters and many are incapable of carrying on a rational conversation, much less a supported debate. They are less articulate, less able to write intelligently and are essentially lacking in the ability to focus. The irony is that the imposition of technology is viewed by the educational hierarchy as something to be supported because it can be quantified. What they have not considered is the impact down the road.

Consider this. We now teach young children to read using electronic screens rather than printed books. Electronic screens are constantly moving, causing eyestrain. In prior generations, most children with vision problems were caught in first grade, when they started reading. Young children have no word for eyestrain, they only know that reading makes their head hurt. It's basic operant conditioning that explains why our kids are reading less, thinking less, doing less. I promise you that those kids in China, Russia and Denmark that are kicking our kids rearends in educational benchmarks are not learning this way. It's lazy. And it's turning today's kids into ready consumers for whatever popular fake news comes down the pike.

Killing Childhood

Below is my response to what I think is a very important organization. We have parents who are too involved in their kids lives in very unhealthy ways. The most obvious activity is sports, but other activities have their problems too such as when a girl not ready for pointe shoes due to her lack of ankle strength and muscle tone had her mother yell at my daughter who is degreed in dance and familiar with what a young dancer must do to prepare for the often challenging move to pointe shoes. It's just one example-I have many more.....

Here's the blog:
Changing the Game

Here's my response:
Whether it is dance, football or basketball parents have gotten way too involved in their children's lives and not in a good way. I've seen members of the PTA climbing the backstop at a LIttle League game screaming at the umpire. I've seen parent coaches claim that kids they knew were years older were younger for the sake of winning all the games. In one case, on my son's under 14 soccer team during a tournament, I watched as the father of the team's star player paced the field shouting commands often in direct conflict to the coach. The son, a truly skilled player, ran down the field heading for the goal and then his dad shouted. The kid stopped, glared at his dad and kicked the ball to a player on the opposing team. That kid never played soccer after that year. My own son, not a star, but a solid player, still plays as an adult and watches games whenever he can find them. Which player would you rather have on your college team?

And this is the problem. Parents are trying to game the system. They hold kids from Kindergarten in hopes they will be older, bigger and faster as a 19 year old on the football field. They sign kids up for multiple sports like the girl in my third period who had either select soccer or select volleyball practices or games every single day. It starts in grade school. Parents have 'activities' every day. There's no chance for playing with neighborhood friends without making an appointment. As a result, kids don't know how to create games on their own. It's a problem.

It is not that sports or dance or whatever your kid competes in is a bad thing, but in life it should not be the ONLY thing that defines your child. I think it is so sad when we have kids who are gifted artists or writers or performers who can't take those classes because their one focus is something else. Do we really want our kids to be so limited in life? One of the saddest cases was a beautiful girl who was an amazing artist and could have gotten a full ride at any of the elite design schools. She loved art. But Mom wanted her to play golf-a game she didn't like and wasn't very good at-because Mom read she could get a scholarship. This same Mom forced the girl to go to nursing school when the poor kid had no interest in the profession. Ten or so years down the road, this kid will burn out.

Kids need variety in life. This is the only childhood they will have. Parents need to stop living vicariously through their children. I hate the excuse "this is the child's choice' because children want to please their parents. Our children should not be held to the Victorian ideal of being tiny adults. As one of my athletes who was a competitive skater said "This is not my life, it is the life my parents want for me." She would be at the local rink from five to seven every morning and five to nine every night. We fought against child labor-but please tell me what the difference is with this kind of schedule?

Remember What It's All About

I just wanted to take a minute to remind people that life is so very fragile. That fact is being brought home to some kids in our area on a daily basis. It's a lesson that is hard to learn because teenagers think they are invincible. Believe me, they are not. Watch the news and see how many YOUNG kids are dying far too early. We aren't supposed to outlive our own children. That's not the way life is meant to work. Yet it seems that today life is cheap on so many levels. It has to end.

With that in mind-it's time for adults to step in and BE ADULTS.
Stop using your kids to fight with your exes, stop putting kids in the middle and stop the relentless self-indulgence and put your kids first. I am tired of hearing stories of mommy's new BMW paired with the stories of how sick kids aren't permitted to get sick because adults make the decision to buy gadgets rather than health insurance. (And yes, this is a true story....and sadly there are many more....) Stop being so self-centered, your kids are suffering.

For all of our arguing and dissension, the words we write or speak to someone today, may be the last words we speak to them at all. Try listening rather than planning the next words that come out of your mouth. Give up the witty repartee and the sarcastic riposte for meaningful conversation. Say things with conviction and follow through with your promises. And pay attention to other people. As my mother told me "you are not the bellybutton of the universe." With that in mind, be kinder, be gentler. Be cognizant that during this time of year, there are people who suffer in silence. A kind word, a giving gesture, a phone call for no reason, could make a difference. While we should consider these things every day, I think our lives have become so frantic with connectivity and gadgets, we sometimes forget what is truly important. Take a moment, reach out and make your little corner of the world just a little bit sweeter.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!