There's a great number of stories in the media these days on why Millennials aren't having children. Most of those articles concentrate on the economics of children over the emotional investment. I find this to be a very sullen case of a generation that has documented every meal, every event and sometimes every emotion in online drama. In short, I think they need to grow up. But there are more reasons that Millennials should have kids. Let me outline why millennials-some of the most highly educated, carefully insulated and categorically managed group in history-should have children.
1. Having children will teach you to love on a level that you have never loved before.
If you buy sweaters for your dogs or toys for your kittens, if you watch then online at work courtesy of motion detection cameras, then you have a capacity to care, but not on the level that you will love a child. Babies grow into entirely separate people, which in and of itself is a miracle. More than that babies and children can think and reason and communicate on a level you will never achieve with your pet dog, cat or wombat. In the vast scheme of things, kids are just more fun.
2. Having children will help you grow up. No matter how affluent, parents too often find them must bend their own desires in order to accommodate their children. For Millennials who are used to having control of Every. Single. Aspect. of their lives, this is a good thing. Life is messy and disorganized. Whimsey and caprice are simple facts of life. Learning to roll with the punches, to deny yourself for the benefit of others is a good thing. It's the type of attitude our society needs to experience more, but seems disinclined to nurture. Having to stay up all night with a crying baby and still get up to face the day is a far more courageous action than partying with friends and moaning about the hangover at work the next day. Selflessness is an acquired trait-it builds character.
3. Having children will help you learn to be truthful. If you think you want to be the kind of person your dog expects you to be, consider how you want to appear to your children. Children are mirrors of family life. They are honest to a fault. They will let you know via word or deed when things are working and when they are not. Watching a child operate in the world is a far better template for behavior than most of what we see in the adult world. And troubled kids are a clear indicator of adults needing to clean up their acts.
4. Having children will expand your goals. Most Millennials don't think much beyond their own personal Venn diagram life. But what happens outside and beyond matters. It's been proven than societies that have fewer children value educational facilities less. Who is going to care for your ailments if there are not enough medical workers? What is more, who will take care of you when you are aging? Much of the Boomer generation is dealing with that right now. While you watch your parents care for aging grandparents have you considered who will handle your estate, your DNR orders, your demise? Who will comfort your spouse? Who will carry those family memories? Are you really willing to simply let them fade away? When it comes to that, if you only have one child, do you feel at ease leaving them alone with those memories?
5. Having children will keep you young. I've witnessed childless friends and their aging process isn't pretty. It's not that people with kids don't have medical issues, but childless couples seem adrift in our society. They are often limited to socializing with people their own age and as that group continues to get up there in years, the interaction with the current world fades. They become disconnected socially politically, emotionally. They frequently become people who only discuss medical care, funerals and politics. This more than any organic disease leads to much of the depression and dementia seen in seniors. Is that really what you want?
6. Having children will teach you fear. That might seem like a bad thing, but it is not. Life is a rollercoaster. The depth of your fear is equal to the height of your joy. (Sorry-Khalil Gibran...) Being a parent is one of the scariest most joyous things you will ever do. You will watch a sleeping child just to see them breathing. You will wait up after dances and parties. You will feel your heart break when your child is left out or bullied. But you will also feel unbridled pride when your child gets an award, graduates, gets married or has children of their own. You cannot experience such emotion unless you take the risk of having children.
7. Having children will give you faith. While Americans are "unchurched" more, there is nobody more faithful than a parent worrying about a child. Do you think any parent at St. Jude's waits outside the treatment room praying to Science? Do you think that any parent can not marvel at the utter beauty of a sleeping child or that their own offspring are so creative, clever, talented and fun? Regardless of your faith or upbringing, you cannot truly care about humankind unless you understand that something beyond mere biology makes up the human psyche. If that's not faith, I don't know what to call it.
I think this generation of Millennials has been raised to fear everything. They want to be safe instead of free. They fear what they view as encumbrance of marriage, monogamy, children, family as some sort of trap instead of a support trellis on which they can grow. They want to know the answers to the test before they take it. They want insurance. Life is not a sure thing. It's a balance of risk and security. You can have your half caff latte daily or you can have love. You can have "experiences" traveling and doing, but your photos will eventually mean nothing. When nobody says your name, you die a second death. When you fail to have children, you may do it for yourself, but you do it TO everyone who came before. Their stories become lost. While I would never advocate for people who truly don't want kids to have them, the false cries over economics and social issues denies the very humanity Millennials claim to embrace.
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