Loss of Control

While life on the outside has definitely lost it's edges, life on the inside has as well.
I have what is termed "nodules" on my thyroid. Now they could be benign-not with my luck-but they could be. They could also be what's been screwing up my metabolism for the last fifteen years. Either way I have to have a biopsy and it doesn't sound pleasant. It is possible that I will then either down a radioactive iodine shot to destroy said damaged organ or have day surgery to remove it.

Day surgery is a liberal construct where they make you starve all night, wake up early and then wait for hours until the doctor gets around to your procedure. Then you get to go home to quake and vomit from the aftermath of general anesthesia at your leisure. What going to be interesting to see is how my principal responds. See he's pronounced that no more teachers can have a planned absence on any of November's Fridays due to the numerous band and athletic activities requiring coaches and directors to miss school. So what happens when my doctor says this Friday, come hell or high water, I have to be there. Given the way things have gone lately, I am willing to bet the conversation starts with "Welllll.....Mrs. .....couldn't you schedule that for over the Thanksgiving break? "

First of all, having had to deal with my son's ankle break over a New Years holiday, I know doctors often opt to take their own families out of town. Imagine that. Doctors like time off too. This means that while we're having turkey at home (and saving up money for procedures) they will be at Purgatory or Keystone shusshing the slopes. I don't blame them. I would want time off too. And I would rather take time off to RECOVER during Thanksgiving break than to have the surgery, feel miserable and miss seeing my own kids.

Nobody really knows about this. My own kids don't know and my husband doesn't know the odds. I don't think he wants to know. I'm trying to keep this light because honest to God since 2008 we've been hit by so many things that one more might just upset everything. But I am scared. And I am praying. The wheels have come off, the center will not hold seems to be the story of my life.