Bumper Bowling. It seem pretty innocuous doesn't it? But hear me out. Early on in childhood, a baby learns to talk and walk through methods of trial an error. You learn to ride a bike, skate or climb a tree based on the idea that if you do it wrong, bad things will happen. Then comes bumper bowling. On the surface, not a bad thing, but the underlying message just may be one that is corrupting our country. If you take a kid bumper bowling when he or she is four and they slam the ball to the right, and if you continue getting bumpers when they are eight, then ten, then twelve and they continue to slam the ball to the right, but still hit the pins, what will the child have learned? Isn't it just possible that when that same kid is 23, and out having a few beers, he or she will be humiliated by a constant flurry of gutterballs all slammed to the right because as a child, they were never allowed to learn how to control the ball? And when that happens, who will be to blame or what is worse, who will the now grown child blame?
And that gets to the core of the matter. My generation, the children of the sixties and seventies, have been so immersed in the idea that we can affect the outcome of every situation, that we have too often sheltered and cossetted our children to protect them from the very necessary process of failure. There are no longer any absolutes, no longer any wrongs, just "mistakes". And as these children reach adulthood, the "mistakes" get larger and larger, and more serious. There isn't a teacher in the nation that hasn't had dealings with the "helicopter Mom" whose little precious child can do no wrong. Rules are to be bent and achievement altered to fit the child's needs rather than the needs of society. Cheating is the norm and even when grossly obvious, to be ignored according to some of these standards. These are what I like to call "Ostrich Parents." They are very open to pointing out the flaws in other children or schools or families, but stick their collective heads in the sand when the shortcomings of their own are brought to the forefront. As teachers, we have some legal censorship that must be used so that we can stay employed. For example, if Johnny comes to class half-baked and reeking of pot, I can't say that. Instead I used euphumisms such as "red eyed" or "sleepy" or "dazed" and hope that the parents have enough interest to ask a few key questions. Most of the time, they don't. Similar things occur with every other rule from innocent tardies to more serious sexual harassment, but until it gets to the legally serious point, most parents choose a hands off policy. And by hands off, I mean that they don't ask questions, don't take away cars and credit cards and don't do the things that might mean they find out something is wrong. Too many parents choose to ignore problems and furthermore, they want the rest of the world to ignore them as well. This sets up a future in which Mommy and Daddy may end up paying bail, hiring lawyers and generally running their adult children's lives simply because they refused to admit a few absolutes into their early childhood experience.
This attitude has carried over into society. Please don't get me wrong, I don't think we should return to the days of Hester Prynne and public floggings, but then again, a little decent humility in regards to unwed pregnancy or drug use would be refreshing. I recall when I was in ninth grade when a girl got pregnant, she was sent to a special school. One girl tried to return for a pep rally, featuring the father to be, and was unceremoniously escorted off campus. Of course that was in the bad old days when girls were burdened with the proof of sexual looseness and boys got a free pass. That may have been unkind, but I think how the situation has evolved is wrong. We now see pregnant girls on campus all the time. They have made adult decisions and are given attention by the school, a home by the parents and generally speaking, except for labor, there's no down side. I am not saying that these girls and their boyfriends should be punished, but right now there's no negative consequences at all. Another example would be a boy that went through school with my 21 year old, got a girl pregnant. While he was busy with her, he lost his scholarship because he was absent partying with his girlfriend. You would think those two things would offer some sobering reality to this irresponsible young pair, but instead, their parents are paying for a luxury apartment (2 bedroom/ Washer/ Dryer?Cable/Internet paid) a car, and college tuition. Neither of them have to work. And to some people this seems like a reasonable decision. Excuse me if I disagree. These two very young, and somewhat selfish, young people choose to be careless, get pregnant and parents come and provide a safety net. I am not knocking helping out young couple, young love or pregnancy-all wonderful things in some circumstances, but in this case, as so many others, the parents are so intent at controlling the outcome, that they pay for everything and in effect make it so that the kids will never learn how to budget on a small income, how to limit their spending or how to balance their lives. In this case, it isn't help, it's control. And when you control someone so completely, you are limiting their ability to grow. And this case is being lived over and over every year. I shudder to think what will happen twenty years down the road when those then 40 year olds are still dealing with the problems that should have been resolved as 20 year olds.
When I ran this idea past my own three kids, 21, 21 and 17, even the 17 year old-who's a bit of a wild child-were appalled that even after having kids some couples were relying on their parents to foot the bill. Speculation was made by my older two, who are full time college students,if the intent was to force marriage or to control the outcome of the grandchild's life, which I thought was pretty insightful from kids the same age as the ones in question. The younger one thought that the parents were very naive and that the couple was getting a free ride. I have to say here that although we paid into a college fund for each of our kids, they have paid their own rent and bills after freshman year. And just out of curiosity I broached the subject of marriage and children, and both my college kids refused to even think about it until after they are out of school (for which I breathed a big sigh of relief!) When I ran this same idea by some parents, I got mixed reactions. Some agreed with me that if kids make adult choices they need to go through the consequences such as getting a job and paying their own bills. Others however, thought that they wouldn't want their kids living in a dump and fully intend to pay for everything. Strangely enough, the parents who were more hardline have kids who are all high achievers and have that history and those parents who wanted to pay for everything had students who have lingered in college for years without declaring a major. It's not a scientific sampling by any means, but I thought it was interesting.
So we return to the image of Bumper Bowling. Long cushions keep the ball rolling towards the pins no matter how erratically or carelessly the ball is thrown. They are assured a strike, or at least a spare, by an artificial means. How long to we continue to support adult children that refuse to take responsibility for their actions? If you read current media,you know that the Boomerang Child is not a new situation. But I think it poses some serious implications for my generation. Are we willing to subsidize continued and repeated "mistakes" by adult children at the expense of our own retirement and income? At what point do we cut them loose? And after cutting them loose and expecting them to show gratitude for years of support, should we dare to be surprised when these same children express anger at not ever being allowed to learn how to function as adults? In short, when do we take away the bumpers? For some parents and some kids, it may never happen.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Saturday, July 08, 2006
American Waste(ful)land
The other day was trash day. We wheel out 88 gallon plastic drums and blue recycling bins full of the appropriately separated plastic, glass, aluminum and newspaper. I drive down the street and I am AMAZED at the sheer amount of "stuff" we simply disgard as trash. Although I would say I am a political conservative, my family didn't have scads of money, so we shopped sales, renovated or simply did without. Living in what was then the burgeoning suburbs north of Dallas, where many people had a good deal of money and spent it wildly rather than wisely, it was an early lesson in wealth, money and its use. My father went through the Great Depression moving from one place to another as my grandfather's employment changed. I think those folks that suffered severely through that trial never really left it behind and often they imposed its rigorous economy on their children. I was one of those children. And in a way, I think I have imposed a similar fiscal restraint on my own kids. I'm not sure if that's a bad thing or a good thing. But it does have some bearing on the topic.
So here we are, a wasteful society that would rather throw something away than reuse it. This was never brought more to light than when our previous neighbors, about ten years younger, would buy things likes sheets or computer printers or clothes and use them sporadically for a short time and then, THROW THEM OUT. They didn't donate them, they didn't share them with the poor in the community, they didn't even have a garage sale, they just threw them away. And what it more, after a time, they decided that one big bin wasn't enough, they needed TWO. We have the same size families, but our bin is hardly every filled up and they throw away two bins of stuff weekly. What's really odd is that this particular family, along with most of the rest of our neighbors, are very liberal. (What is odder is that we are the only family on the street that recycles despite city incentives...) That is certainly their perogative, but is it really a good thing to condemn another person's consumption when you don't curb your own. And this particular family has very much pointed fingers at people who have older cars, disregarding that a well tuned older car driven less still makes less pollution than any car other than electric driven everywhere. It's puzzling that "everyone" is concerned about the environment, but it seems like there's a great deal of fingerpointing when it comes to solutions.
Taken to the celebrity level, I have a great deal of respect for Judge Reinhold, who drives a tiny car or rides a bike rather than tooling around LA in a Hummer or Escalade. And I am truly puzzled by hiphop artists that spout anger at everyone, but seem content to drive around in overblown SUV's. I have heard it said that America is one of the few places where the poor have running water, drive to work and are overweight. So does this make us greedy or covetous or simply so hooked into the GimmeGimme image presented by all of the media that we buy and buy and buy until our credit and our lives are in peril?
Nowhere is this better illustrated than on a college campus. It's a cross section of America, with scholarship kids and work study kids trying to squeak by on Ramen Noodles and Diet Coke while others lounge around for four or five or more years in relatively palatial apartments, including weight rooms, pools, cable and internet access all paid for by Mommy and Daddy. Resident Assistants, of which my daughter is one, have to clean up after the students leave. You would be amazed at some of the "trash" that was salvaged by the more frugal and needy students. These things included working TV's, microwaves, mini-fridges, game systems. ...Relatively new coats, clothing, shoes and furniture....books that could be reused or resold...CD's everything you could imagine. When asked by a couple of RA's why they were throwing away perfecting good "stuff" the students' answered something similar to "they didn't want to bother taking it home because they could always get more..." So what's the message parents have sent these kids? That they can break or lose or simply throw away anything, and get it replaced for free.
And if you aren't concerned yet, be aware that credit card companies heavily traffic the universities and colleges of our fair land trolling for new customers. My 17 year old son got a letter offereing him a platinum card with a $1500 limit. He doesn't even have a job OR a car. Every single one of these kids that threw out good stuff rather than lugging it home or selling it or donating it to a worthy charity is exemplifying the concept of Consumerism Gone Wild. I am surprised the Stock Market cable channels haven't started filming these spending sprees for nighttime viewing, just like Girls Gone Wild.
Then there is the problem of cooperation. We put off letting our kids drive until they were nearly 18. To be honest, this was as much for insurance purposes as anything, but it also forced our kids to become familiar with public transportation which is more economical, more environmentally friendly and an asset to any large metropolitan area. In most cities, that wouldn't be an issue, but in Dallas, they have poked around about getting train service to all but the most demanding suburbs leaving large sections reliant on bus service. While this shouldn't be a problem, it has become one because some of the bus drivers will pass stops with teens. This isn't an accident, it's happened several times with DART. And what is even funnier, our local transit authority doesn't have a listed phone number. So we pay taxes and try to encourage the next generation to use public transit and when they are stiffed, THERE'S NO WAY TO COMPLAIN. So in many ways, it seems that government entities are as much to blame for discouraging use of public transit as anyone else.
I realize this essay is somewhat scattered, but the end run is that regardless of our political preferences, everyone MUST get away from the notion of a Disposible Society. It has come from paper cups to families and marriages. The concept of simply throwing away things, and people, and families needs to come to an end. And if it starts with simply recycling, then great. Otherwise, my kids are going to end up picking up the remains of everyone else's lives.
So here we are, a wasteful society that would rather throw something away than reuse it. This was never brought more to light than when our previous neighbors, about ten years younger, would buy things likes sheets or computer printers or clothes and use them sporadically for a short time and then, THROW THEM OUT. They didn't donate them, they didn't share them with the poor in the community, they didn't even have a garage sale, they just threw them away. And what it more, after a time, they decided that one big bin wasn't enough, they needed TWO. We have the same size families, but our bin is hardly every filled up and they throw away two bins of stuff weekly. What's really odd is that this particular family, along with most of the rest of our neighbors, are very liberal. (What is odder is that we are the only family on the street that recycles despite city incentives...) That is certainly their perogative, but is it really a good thing to condemn another person's consumption when you don't curb your own. And this particular family has very much pointed fingers at people who have older cars, disregarding that a well tuned older car driven less still makes less pollution than any car other than electric driven everywhere. It's puzzling that "everyone" is concerned about the environment, but it seems like there's a great deal of fingerpointing when it comes to solutions.
Taken to the celebrity level, I have a great deal of respect for Judge Reinhold, who drives a tiny car or rides a bike rather than tooling around LA in a Hummer or Escalade. And I am truly puzzled by hiphop artists that spout anger at everyone, but seem content to drive around in overblown SUV's. I have heard it said that America is one of the few places where the poor have running water, drive to work and are overweight. So does this make us greedy or covetous or simply so hooked into the GimmeGimme image presented by all of the media that we buy and buy and buy until our credit and our lives are in peril?
Nowhere is this better illustrated than on a college campus. It's a cross section of America, with scholarship kids and work study kids trying to squeak by on Ramen Noodles and Diet Coke while others lounge around for four or five or more years in relatively palatial apartments, including weight rooms, pools, cable and internet access all paid for by Mommy and Daddy. Resident Assistants, of which my daughter is one, have to clean up after the students leave. You would be amazed at some of the "trash" that was salvaged by the more frugal and needy students. These things included working TV's, microwaves, mini-fridges, game systems. ...Relatively new coats, clothing, shoes and furniture....books that could be reused or resold...CD's everything you could imagine. When asked by a couple of RA's why they were throwing away perfecting good "stuff" the students' answered something similar to "they didn't want to bother taking it home because they could always get more..." So what's the message parents have sent these kids? That they can break or lose or simply throw away anything, and get it replaced for free.
And if you aren't concerned yet, be aware that credit card companies heavily traffic the universities and colleges of our fair land trolling for new customers. My 17 year old son got a letter offereing him a platinum card with a $1500 limit. He doesn't even have a job OR a car. Every single one of these kids that threw out good stuff rather than lugging it home or selling it or donating it to a worthy charity is exemplifying the concept of Consumerism Gone Wild. I am surprised the Stock Market cable channels haven't started filming these spending sprees for nighttime viewing, just like Girls Gone Wild.
Then there is the problem of cooperation. We put off letting our kids drive until they were nearly 18. To be honest, this was as much for insurance purposes as anything, but it also forced our kids to become familiar with public transportation which is more economical, more environmentally friendly and an asset to any large metropolitan area. In most cities, that wouldn't be an issue, but in Dallas, they have poked around about getting train service to all but the most demanding suburbs leaving large sections reliant on bus service. While this shouldn't be a problem, it has become one because some of the bus drivers will pass stops with teens. This isn't an accident, it's happened several times with DART. And what is even funnier, our local transit authority doesn't have a listed phone number. So we pay taxes and try to encourage the next generation to use public transit and when they are stiffed, THERE'S NO WAY TO COMPLAIN. So in many ways, it seems that government entities are as much to blame for discouraging use of public transit as anyone else.
I realize this essay is somewhat scattered, but the end run is that regardless of our political preferences, everyone MUST get away from the notion of a Disposible Society. It has come from paper cups to families and marriages. The concept of simply throwing away things, and people, and families needs to come to an end. And if it starts with simply recycling, then great. Otherwise, my kids are going to end up picking up the remains of everyone else's lives.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Mastercard and Education
With the electronic age, much in education has changed for the better. Better computers, better access to materials, more current information for students. Much of this is because the payback is immediate. We have come to expect that in life and in our schools. The sooner we have it, whatever it is, the better.
So here comes the traditional school budget. You can't order until September 1, and you have to fill out PO's and hopefully, if it isn't backordered or delayed, you get your materials sometime in mid October. That's too long for some classes and leaves new teachers without materials to start the year with unless they pay out of pocket. (Which, incidentally, I sometimes think the Powers That Be, want them to do....) So here comes a Great Idea. Schools can obtain corporate charge cards and then employees can get materials IMMEDIATELY for classroom use. It's a good idea, it solves the dilemma for newly graduated teachers, who don't have a great deal of money for supplies, and it helps avoid the lag time that occurs at the start of the year. As an art teacher, I assure you that by the time we get our first order in October, the materials that I have hoarded for use are pretty much gone. It limits what you can do in the class, when paper is low and pencils are used up. In my district, only department heads can use the cards. They check them out from the business manager for a 24 hour period, and can only use it at a list of approved district vendors. Receipts are demanded upon the return of the card. No excuses. It's worked very well for us and as far as I know, there have been few problems. It's one of those systems in place that actually make things a little bit easier on the average teacher.
So I open my Sunday Dallas Morning News on July 2, 2006, and what do I see? In the DISD, people are charging thousands of dollars on district credit cards with impunity. It appears that many of the heaviest users have done so without receipts, one even claiming after the demand for confirmation of purchases that "the receipts were stolen". Yeah, I know, those receipt theives have been busy....right. And I love the comment from the teacher that bought the Ipod and accessories to "give to the best student" but then his class was "bad" and nobody got the glitzy Ipod. And strangely enough, the Ipod doesn't show up on any district electronics list. I don't know what was going on in these teachers' and employees' heads. Were they overwhelmed by the responsibility? Blinded by the exorbitant credit limit? Compensating for their students low income backgrounds by providing enrichment via Ipods? Or just plain greedy and stupid? What I truly don't understand is how the central business office could just blindly pay credit card bills of up to a MILLION DOLLARS A MONTH and not ask for documentation or at least a few well placed questions. You would think at some point a huge gap like that would raise someone's eyebrows.
So we have yet another DISD debacle, one of many. Here are some suggestions.
1. Oversight-demand receipts upon returning of the card.
2. Purchase limits-set a dollar amount that can be spent per purchase without written administrative approval. This should probably be much lower than the $1000 current limit.
3. Limit users-to administrators and department heads AND LOOK AT THE BILLS! One principal spent a ridiculous amount at a chic kids store buying PILLOWS FOR THE LIBRARY. Last time I looked what most libraries need is BOOKS and COMPUTERS.*shaking head*
4. Give each user an upward limit budget for the year. Regardless of the need, once they've blown the budget, they are on their own to find a way to purchases materials.
5. Fire ANYONE who misuses these cards for their own purposes.' Nuff said.
6. Stop whining that the district doesn't have any money. If you have that much money EACH MONTH that goes unaccounted for, then you have a major budget leak and until you plug that, no more money needs to go to the district.
Personally, I think it is beyond negligence or need. It is theft pure and simple. And the DA should be looking at those books right now. Furthermore, if it looks as if these goods were resold, whether privately through Ebay or Craig's list, then there needs to be some serious charges launched.
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/news/localnews/stories/070206dnmetpcards.192c71f.html
So here comes the traditional school budget. You can't order until September 1, and you have to fill out PO's and hopefully, if it isn't backordered or delayed, you get your materials sometime in mid October. That's too long for some classes and leaves new teachers without materials to start the year with unless they pay out of pocket. (Which, incidentally, I sometimes think the Powers That Be, want them to do....) So here comes a Great Idea. Schools can obtain corporate charge cards and then employees can get materials IMMEDIATELY for classroom use. It's a good idea, it solves the dilemma for newly graduated teachers, who don't have a great deal of money for supplies, and it helps avoid the lag time that occurs at the start of the year. As an art teacher, I assure you that by the time we get our first order in October, the materials that I have hoarded for use are pretty much gone. It limits what you can do in the class, when paper is low and pencils are used up. In my district, only department heads can use the cards. They check them out from the business manager for a 24 hour period, and can only use it at a list of approved district vendors. Receipts are demanded upon the return of the card. No excuses. It's worked very well for us and as far as I know, there have been few problems. It's one of those systems in place that actually make things a little bit easier on the average teacher.
So I open my Sunday Dallas Morning News on July 2, 2006, and what do I see? In the DISD, people are charging thousands of dollars on district credit cards with impunity. It appears that many of the heaviest users have done so without receipts, one even claiming after the demand for confirmation of purchases that "the receipts were stolen". Yeah, I know, those receipt theives have been busy....right. And I love the comment from the teacher that bought the Ipod and accessories to "give to the best student" but then his class was "bad" and nobody got the glitzy Ipod. And strangely enough, the Ipod doesn't show up on any district electronics list. I don't know what was going on in these teachers' and employees' heads. Were they overwhelmed by the responsibility? Blinded by the exorbitant credit limit? Compensating for their students low income backgrounds by providing enrichment via Ipods? Or just plain greedy and stupid? What I truly don't understand is how the central business office could just blindly pay credit card bills of up to a MILLION DOLLARS A MONTH and not ask for documentation or at least a few well placed questions. You would think at some point a huge gap like that would raise someone's eyebrows.
So we have yet another DISD debacle, one of many. Here are some suggestions.
1. Oversight-demand receipts upon returning of the card.
2. Purchase limits-set a dollar amount that can be spent per purchase without written administrative approval. This should probably be much lower than the $1000 current limit.
3. Limit users-to administrators and department heads AND LOOK AT THE BILLS! One principal spent a ridiculous amount at a chic kids store buying PILLOWS FOR THE LIBRARY. Last time I looked what most libraries need is BOOKS and COMPUTERS.*shaking head*
4. Give each user an upward limit budget for the year. Regardless of the need, once they've blown the budget, they are on their own to find a way to purchases materials.
5. Fire ANYONE who misuses these cards for their own purposes.' Nuff said.
6. Stop whining that the district doesn't have any money. If you have that much money EACH MONTH that goes unaccounted for, then you have a major budget leak and until you plug that, no more money needs to go to the district.
Personally, I think it is beyond negligence or need. It is theft pure and simple. And the DA should be looking at those books right now. Furthermore, if it looks as if these goods were resold, whether privately through Ebay or Craig's list, then there needs to be some serious charges launched.
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/news/localnews/stories/070206dnmetpcards.192c71f.html
Friday, June 16, 2006
On Fathers
My Dad wasn't the easiest person to live with. There were times I marveled that Mom stayed with him for nearly 50 years. Looking back, the sadness, disappointment and pressures of his past weighed him down heavily in depression for many many years. It wasn't called that when I was a kid. It was called "being cranky". There were days that my Mom would slave over a dinner, which we ate together, only to have him push it away an make a bologna sandwich. At the time, I thought he was being picky and wasteful and inconsiderate. Looking back, I wonder if he felt unworthy of a decent meal at home, when his job had been one of almost constant travel and sales. Raised through the Great Depression, his family wandered through the Texas Oil Patch following my grandfather's job changes. That had to have an effect on an only child. I suppose that hindsight is twenty-twenty. I wish I had been wiser and more forgiving of his moods at an earlier age. It's easier to recall the bad things, they don't hurt.
Although he wasn't the easy going Ward Cleaver type of Dad, and although he traveled, I will say that my Dad coached our teams, watched our plays and concerts and was there emotionally to the limits of conventional behavior of the times. He wasn't the warm touchy-feely Dad of today's sometimes unrealistic imagery, but he would support us to the ends of the world. Even as an adult, when I was dealing with a difficult problem at work or with my kids at school, he would say ,"Do you want me to go talk to them?" There was the unspoken offer of support. Unlike so many fathers who were wealthier or more successful or more famous, he was always there.
Dad never considered himself successful, which was a burden that he carried throughout life. The promise of his success in college never bloomed, largely because unlike the shakers and movers, my Dad was honest and he was loyal. He didn't think he should jump from job to job. His word was his bond. There was not a city in the Southwestern US in which he didn't know someone. And yet the Harvard-fueled business systems of the 70's and 80's only valued the young and innovative, over the loyal and hardworking. He was forced to change jobs many times and worked literally until he died. He never had a chance to retire. He never had the country home and leisure time. In many ways his work killed him in the end. He was scared when he sold our home in Dallas and moved my Mom to a small east Texas town. I suppose he was trying to recapture a simpler time from his ideas of small, safe, idyllic towns of his childhood. Instead, he and Mom ended up isolated from friends and church and family. It didn't have to be that way, but that is how it was.
It's easier in some respects to remember the bad. I can recall that without pain. What hurts is remembering the good. I laugh when I recall the time that the basketball game depended on my very scanty freethrow skills. He couldn't look from the coaches bench, but I made the shot. I remember how he was the first to see the brilliance in my youngest child who has had a number of learning difficulties to overcome. I remember the room divider he built from a picture I saw in a teen magazine. Rather than 2 by 4's he used thinner wood and the thing leaned dangerously and drunkenly around my bedroom as we laughed. I remember when he tried to put in ceiling tiles in an attic room. The hot Texas sun melted the adhesive and the tiles hung crazily from the ceiling. And we laughed. Bad jokes, puns, his enduring love and talent for playing trumpet. His stories of playing in big bands to work his way through SMU, his stories of meeting Bush 41 as a customer returning oil field supplies and getting cussed out when he told him noall that lingers as a thin ghost of his career in sales. Dad's patriotism, his interest in politics and his faith are all key things that I can recall. Even now I see his face, animated and talking- always The Consummate Salesman. I remember his love of chocolate and how he always had candy, even when he visited to watch the boys play football and soccer. I remember he loved my mom and he and I went shopping together every Christmas and Mother's Day. He sent her flowers and chocolate covered cherries and stayed even when times were bad. And there were bad times. When I was going through the cards after he died, there were messages from secretaries and office managers and customers that had known Dad for decades fondly recalling how he charmed them with his jokes and candy. And those memories hurt because they are gone and there's a hole inside that just won't be filled.
I don't think most people realize the hole left in kids whose fathers are absent. Whether due to lack of interest or travel or military responsibilities, kids who don't have fathers have holes in their lives. Fathers are often the ones who set limits, they often are willing to compete and to have fun. Fathers encourage daughters to be women of self-reliance, they encourage boys to stand on their own. We have a generation of children who are raised by women, and this is a brave cause, but children need men in their lives as well. Fatherhood isn't celebrated as much as Motherhood. I suppose, as with the matriarchal nature of Jewish heritage, this is because, you always known your mother. But Fatherhood should be important. Our young men need to know that they aren't just sperm donors and that their contributions in raising families and building character in children is just as essential as the nurturing recieved from mothers. I pity the children who have fathers who are absent emotionally or physically, and I pity the fathers who often try to reconnect years later when so much time was wasted and has passed.
Although he annoys me politically, I have always loved Cat Stevens songs. The lyrics of "So Very Young" and "Cat's In The Cradle" from the album Tea For The Tillerman express that need for Fathers so vividly. Those songs speak so clearly on the issues of Fatherhood and of Fatherhood Lost and Found. I didn't write this to depress people, or to lecture. I supposed it's a cautionary tale. Don't take the Father in your life, whether husband, brother, father or son, for granted. They are holding up half the world, just as Mothers do. Both are important.
In memory and love of my Dad, who died on Christmas 2002. I hate to say it, but at first I thought it was deliberate of him to "choose" to die on Christmas, to ruin the holiday for the rest of our family's lives, but now I know he had no choice and the only thing he really wanted was to be sure that we would remember him. I won't forget. Don't you forget either.
Cats in the Cradle
by Harry Chapin
A child arrived just the other dayHe came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talking before I knew it and as he grew
He said, "I’m gonna be like you, Dad, You know I’m gonna be like you"
And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you comin home, Dad, I don’t know when,
But we'll get together then,
You know we'll have a good time then.
My son turned ten just the other day
He said "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on lets playcan you teach me to throw?"
I said, "Not today, I got a lot to do"
He said "Thats okay"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said "I’m gonna be like him, yeah
You know I’m going to be like him"
And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you comin home, Dad, I dont know when,
But we'll get together then,You know we'll have a good time then.
Well he came from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say,
"Son, I’m proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head, and he said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?"
And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you comin home, Son, I dont know when,
But we'll get together then, Dad
You know we'll have a good time then.
I’ve long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said "Id like to see you if you don’t mind
"He said "Id love to Dad, if I could find the time.
You see my new jobs a hassle, and the kids have the flu.
But It's sure nice talking to you, Dad,
It's been sure nice talking to you........
"And as I hung up the phone it had occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me,
My boy was just like me..............
And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you comin home, Son, I dont know when,
But we'll get together then, Dad
We're gonna have a good time then.
Although he wasn't the easy going Ward Cleaver type of Dad, and although he traveled, I will say that my Dad coached our teams, watched our plays and concerts and was there emotionally to the limits of conventional behavior of the times. He wasn't the warm touchy-feely Dad of today's sometimes unrealistic imagery, but he would support us to the ends of the world. Even as an adult, when I was dealing with a difficult problem at work or with my kids at school, he would say ,"Do you want me to go talk to them?" There was the unspoken offer of support. Unlike so many fathers who were wealthier or more successful or more famous, he was always there.
Dad never considered himself successful, which was a burden that he carried throughout life. The promise of his success in college never bloomed, largely because unlike the shakers and movers, my Dad was honest and he was loyal. He didn't think he should jump from job to job. His word was his bond. There was not a city in the Southwestern US in which he didn't know someone. And yet the Harvard-fueled business systems of the 70's and 80's only valued the young and innovative, over the loyal and hardworking. He was forced to change jobs many times and worked literally until he died. He never had a chance to retire. He never had the country home and leisure time. In many ways his work killed him in the end. He was scared when he sold our home in Dallas and moved my Mom to a small east Texas town. I suppose he was trying to recapture a simpler time from his ideas of small, safe, idyllic towns of his childhood. Instead, he and Mom ended up isolated from friends and church and family. It didn't have to be that way, but that is how it was.
It's easier in some respects to remember the bad. I can recall that without pain. What hurts is remembering the good. I laugh when I recall the time that the basketball game depended on my very scanty freethrow skills. He couldn't look from the coaches bench, but I made the shot. I remember how he was the first to see the brilliance in my youngest child who has had a number of learning difficulties to overcome. I remember the room divider he built from a picture I saw in a teen magazine. Rather than 2 by 4's he used thinner wood and the thing leaned dangerously and drunkenly around my bedroom as we laughed. I remember when he tried to put in ceiling tiles in an attic room. The hot Texas sun melted the adhesive and the tiles hung crazily from the ceiling. And we laughed. Bad jokes, puns, his enduring love and talent for playing trumpet. His stories of playing in big bands to work his way through SMU, his stories of meeting Bush 41 as a customer returning oil field supplies and getting cussed out when he told him noall that lingers as a thin ghost of his career in sales. Dad's patriotism, his interest in politics and his faith are all key things that I can recall. Even now I see his face, animated and talking- always The Consummate Salesman. I remember his love of chocolate and how he always had candy, even when he visited to watch the boys play football and soccer. I remember he loved my mom and he and I went shopping together every Christmas and Mother's Day. He sent her flowers and chocolate covered cherries and stayed even when times were bad. And there were bad times. When I was going through the cards after he died, there were messages from secretaries and office managers and customers that had known Dad for decades fondly recalling how he charmed them with his jokes and candy. And those memories hurt because they are gone and there's a hole inside that just won't be filled.
I don't think most people realize the hole left in kids whose fathers are absent. Whether due to lack of interest or travel or military responsibilities, kids who don't have fathers have holes in their lives. Fathers are often the ones who set limits, they often are willing to compete and to have fun. Fathers encourage daughters to be women of self-reliance, they encourage boys to stand on their own. We have a generation of children who are raised by women, and this is a brave cause, but children need men in their lives as well. Fatherhood isn't celebrated as much as Motherhood. I suppose, as with the matriarchal nature of Jewish heritage, this is because, you always known your mother. But Fatherhood should be important. Our young men need to know that they aren't just sperm donors and that their contributions in raising families and building character in children is just as essential as the nurturing recieved from mothers. I pity the children who have fathers who are absent emotionally or physically, and I pity the fathers who often try to reconnect years later when so much time was wasted and has passed.
Although he annoys me politically, I have always loved Cat Stevens songs. The lyrics of "So Very Young" and "Cat's In The Cradle" from the album Tea For The Tillerman express that need for Fathers so vividly. Those songs speak so clearly on the issues of Fatherhood and of Fatherhood Lost and Found. I didn't write this to depress people, or to lecture. I supposed it's a cautionary tale. Don't take the Father in your life, whether husband, brother, father or son, for granted. They are holding up half the world, just as Mothers do. Both are important.
In memory and love of my Dad, who died on Christmas 2002. I hate to say it, but at first I thought it was deliberate of him to "choose" to die on Christmas, to ruin the holiday for the rest of our family's lives, but now I know he had no choice and the only thing he really wanted was to be sure that we would remember him. I won't forget. Don't you forget either.
Cats in the Cradle
by Harry Chapin
A child arrived just the other dayHe came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talking before I knew it and as he grew
He said, "I’m gonna be like you, Dad, You know I’m gonna be like you"
And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you comin home, Dad, I don’t know when,
But we'll get together then,
You know we'll have a good time then.
My son turned ten just the other day
He said "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on lets playcan you teach me to throw?"
I said, "Not today, I got a lot to do"
He said "Thats okay"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said "I’m gonna be like him, yeah
You know I’m going to be like him"
And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you comin home, Dad, I dont know when,
But we'll get together then,You know we'll have a good time then.
Well he came from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say,
"Son, I’m proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head, and he said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?"
And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you comin home, Son, I dont know when,
But we'll get together then, Dad
You know we'll have a good time then.
I’ve long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said "Id like to see you if you don’t mind
"He said "Id love to Dad, if I could find the time.
You see my new jobs a hassle, and the kids have the flu.
But It's sure nice talking to you, Dad,
It's been sure nice talking to you........
"And as I hung up the phone it had occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me,
My boy was just like me..............
And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you comin home, Son, I dont know when,
But we'll get together then, Dad
We're gonna have a good time then.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Thursday, June 08, 2006
The Trouble with The Beautiful People
Anyone who has ever watched a "Brat Pack" movie in the seventies and eighties, recognizes the cultural phenomenon of the Clique. It's been a factor in schools since time began, but never really exposed until Queenbees and Wannabees came out a couple of years ago. I have a few observations about "The Beautiful People" that I think hold true. As with most stereotypes, there are always the stalwart few that will be paragons of virtue and fly in the fact of conventional wisdom.
First of all, there are problems with the "Beauty Queen". She could be prom queen, or homecoming queen or even just an average winner of the local JayCees sponsored pageant. She's the girl who sets the pace, makes the unwritten law and calls the shots socially within the fabric of the social order of the school. She has good communication skills and frequently bamboozles authority figures by kissing up or giving the appearance of perfection, all the while causing havoc within her social set. Quite often she demands others exact social payment or act upon her desires, whether it's squelching the new girl that could be competition or stealing some beer for a party.No matter what their MO,B they seem to have this one thing in common, being viewed as "beautiful", they are often crowned with the mantle of intellectual and ethical perfection as well. That's a heavy load to bear and only a few really make the cut. The rest seem to use their beauty as both a crutch and a weapon. They call on it when confronted with nasty realities such as drunken behavior, cheating, theft or any number of crimes, as a means to create the appearance of perfect innocence. They use it as a weapon in the school, in the workplace, and if not stopped, throughout life, to bully and manipulate others. This is not to say that all beautiful women or beautiful men, if it comes to that, are suspect. But there's a certain echelon of society that thrives on empty beauty and imbues it with qualities that just don't exist. So you end up with cheerleaders that get drunk on the football field, or that beat up a girl for moving in on her guy or just generally obnoxious behavior in the classroom. If not stopped, these same people use their looks to control their environment, making sure that they get constant validation of their beauty. Beauty becomes the controlling factor in their lives and without constant attention, they become unbalanced and act out in strange and often illegal ways. I think this can result in ruined marriages, destroyed careers and damaged futures. When beauty, and by that I mean sexual attractiveness, becomes the ONLY ruling factor, then in order to convince themselves they are worthy, they resort to behavior that is illegal, immoral and unethical. This is a situation that produces people such as teachers who get involved with students, professors that get involved with students, or bosses that use their power to coerce underlings and vice versa.
I think that many of the "beautiful people" having gotten away with bad behavior for so long, are genuinely shocked when the rest of the world finds out what they are doing and slams them in response. When was the last time you saw a professional athlete arrested that admitted he or she was doing something wrong? Look at pro baseball and the steroid scandals. Look at the number of athletes on expensive scholarships that get caught doing everything from rape to theft to dealing drugs. Do they do this to get by or do they do it because for too long people have looked the other way and made excuses for their bad behavior?
And it isn't just the beauty queens and clique leaders, it's the class president, the cheerleaders, the kids that appear to be the clean-cut all Americans. The create this image, give you the behavior publicly that you expect, then go around behind your back and do all the things that the "good kids" supposedly don't do. Don't get me wrong, there are some terrific kids out there who happen to play sports and have leadership roles in the schools. But those kids are three dimensional and have more than just their athletic abilities and social skills going for them. Those kids are often smart enough to see beyond the games of high school and college and have larger goals in life. But the kid who can only run fast or jump high or who is only blessed with good looks and not much else has other issues to handle. Sometimes academically he or she are given way too much slack. Sometimes when he or she get in trouble with the law, it's overlooked because of his status on the team or because of their parents' status in the community. This is not to say that it happens at all schools.
Many schools try to be vigilant and maintain some standards, but quite often it's the parents that give so much leeway to our "beauties and stars". In our own community, the son of a county judge and an assistant DA was arrested two years ago for shooting at girls with a pellet gun. That case still hasn't gone to court. He was arrested again for shooting off a gun in his backyard-not commonly done in suburban settings. And now, finally, he's 18 and in jail for stealing beer from a store and beating up the owner. This kid didn't get this way overnight. At some point his parents let things slide. And the more they let him get away with, the more he pushed. This lack of moral clarity and personal ethics should be alarming to most people, but even my own kids see it every day in dealing with their peers. It makes it hard for the kids trying to do right.
I don't think that creating this false assumption of superiority does these kids any favors. And I think the reason we see so many Paris Hiltons' and Terrance Owens' are because when younger, these people were seen as being golden. They could do no wrong and even their transgressions were overlooked until the behavior became too outrageous for anyone to overlook. Andy Warhol said "In the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes." With the advent of reality shows and other nonsense, there seems to be the vacuum in so many kids' lives where they feel the need for fame. That isn't what the American Dream was supposed to be about. But too many kids relate more to a controversial Eminem than they do to their own parents who work to provide them sustenance or people within their world that do what needs to be done and don't shout out for attention at every burp and snort. Once again it isn't every kid, but I think the children of the Hippy Generation, who were told they could do no wrong and that no decision was a bad one, are sadly in need of direction.
First of all, there are problems with the "Beauty Queen". She could be prom queen, or homecoming queen or even just an average winner of the local JayCees sponsored pageant. She's the girl who sets the pace, makes the unwritten law and calls the shots socially within the fabric of the social order of the school. She has good communication skills and frequently bamboozles authority figures by kissing up or giving the appearance of perfection, all the while causing havoc within her social set. Quite often she demands others exact social payment or act upon her desires, whether it's squelching the new girl that could be competition or stealing some beer for a party.No matter what their MO,B they seem to have this one thing in common, being viewed as "beautiful", they are often crowned with the mantle of intellectual and ethical perfection as well. That's a heavy load to bear and only a few really make the cut. The rest seem to use their beauty as both a crutch and a weapon. They call on it when confronted with nasty realities such as drunken behavior, cheating, theft or any number of crimes, as a means to create the appearance of perfect innocence. They use it as a weapon in the school, in the workplace, and if not stopped, throughout life, to bully and manipulate others. This is not to say that all beautiful women or beautiful men, if it comes to that, are suspect. But there's a certain echelon of society that thrives on empty beauty and imbues it with qualities that just don't exist. So you end up with cheerleaders that get drunk on the football field, or that beat up a girl for moving in on her guy or just generally obnoxious behavior in the classroom. If not stopped, these same people use their looks to control their environment, making sure that they get constant validation of their beauty. Beauty becomes the controlling factor in their lives and without constant attention, they become unbalanced and act out in strange and often illegal ways. I think this can result in ruined marriages, destroyed careers and damaged futures. When beauty, and by that I mean sexual attractiveness, becomes the ONLY ruling factor, then in order to convince themselves they are worthy, they resort to behavior that is illegal, immoral and unethical. This is a situation that produces people such as teachers who get involved with students, professors that get involved with students, or bosses that use their power to coerce underlings and vice versa.
I think that many of the "beautiful people" having gotten away with bad behavior for so long, are genuinely shocked when the rest of the world finds out what they are doing and slams them in response. When was the last time you saw a professional athlete arrested that admitted he or she was doing something wrong? Look at pro baseball and the steroid scandals. Look at the number of athletes on expensive scholarships that get caught doing everything from rape to theft to dealing drugs. Do they do this to get by or do they do it because for too long people have looked the other way and made excuses for their bad behavior?
And it isn't just the beauty queens and clique leaders, it's the class president, the cheerleaders, the kids that appear to be the clean-cut all Americans. The create this image, give you the behavior publicly that you expect, then go around behind your back and do all the things that the "good kids" supposedly don't do. Don't get me wrong, there are some terrific kids out there who happen to play sports and have leadership roles in the schools. But those kids are three dimensional and have more than just their athletic abilities and social skills going for them. Those kids are often smart enough to see beyond the games of high school and college and have larger goals in life. But the kid who can only run fast or jump high or who is only blessed with good looks and not much else has other issues to handle. Sometimes academically he or she are given way too much slack. Sometimes when he or she get in trouble with the law, it's overlooked because of his status on the team or because of their parents' status in the community. This is not to say that it happens at all schools.
Many schools try to be vigilant and maintain some standards, but quite often it's the parents that give so much leeway to our "beauties and stars". In our own community, the son of a county judge and an assistant DA was arrested two years ago for shooting at girls with a pellet gun. That case still hasn't gone to court. He was arrested again for shooting off a gun in his backyard-not commonly done in suburban settings. And now, finally, he's 18 and in jail for stealing beer from a store and beating up the owner. This kid didn't get this way overnight. At some point his parents let things slide. And the more they let him get away with, the more he pushed. This lack of moral clarity and personal ethics should be alarming to most people, but even my own kids see it every day in dealing with their peers. It makes it hard for the kids trying to do right.
I don't think that creating this false assumption of superiority does these kids any favors. And I think the reason we see so many Paris Hiltons' and Terrance Owens' are because when younger, these people were seen as being golden. They could do no wrong and even their transgressions were overlooked until the behavior became too outrageous for anyone to overlook. Andy Warhol said "In the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes." With the advent of reality shows and other nonsense, there seems to be the vacuum in so many kids' lives where they feel the need for fame. That isn't what the American Dream was supposed to be about. But too many kids relate more to a controversial Eminem than they do to their own parents who work to provide them sustenance or people within their world that do what needs to be done and don't shout out for attention at every burp and snort. Once again it isn't every kid, but I think the children of the Hippy Generation, who were told they could do no wrong and that no decision was a bad one, are sadly in need of direction.
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Nuclear Power
I must admit a certain reluctance to having a reactor in my backyard. However, for many years environmentalists have been beating the drum of closing coal and gas fired power facilities. They like to point to wind power and water power. Sadly, most people know that these two avenues will never replace conventional power plants. The sources are too random and unpredictable which would mean power shortages and darkened grids. I think what is interesting is that this abhorrence for nuclear power came on the heels of a movie. The China Syndrome was a melodramatic little film about a meltdown at a nuclear facility. The political feelings at the time were heightened by the failure at Three Mile Island. People grabbed onto the movie's plot as factual, leading the closure and cancellation and delays in building of many nuclear facilities. Glen Rose, in Texas was caught in the middle and at the time due to additional studies, legal challenges and other nonsense, the cost of building it tripled. From what I gather, there have been few if any nuclear generating plants built since that time. Why? Europe has relied on nuclear power for decades with only the poorly designed Chernobyl as a blemish on the record. I think much of the reason we are not pursuing nuclear power is that the extreme Green factions have half the Congressional delegation in control. They would rather believe media hype over facts. Even some of the most strident environmentalists are beginning to realize that without oil, and they surely don't want us drilling in the Arctic Circle for the reserves there, we must have a reliable, sustainable source of power or civilization will return to the Twelfth Century as wished by various backward imams. Why not nuclear power? I read a very interesting colum today in the Dallas Morning News Op/Ed page. I would encourage you to read it, too. Then, after some facts, make up your own mind without the drama and fact-stretching of Hollywood.
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/opinion/points/stories/DN-greennuke_04edi.ART.State.Edition1.9048f6c.html
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/opinion/points/stories/DN-greennuke_04edi.ART.State.Edition1.9048f6c.html
Friday, May 26, 2006
Summer
I guess that only teachers get to savor the joy of summer with nearly the enthusiasm of students. This is the first year that I will be saying good-bye to students that I first met as freshmen. And this is the first year that I have had a student leave school due to bullying. This one broke my heart. He's a really bright, funny kid. Well-read and quirky, I met him as a freshman. He would come by and show me work he had done or talk to me in the hall when I was on duty. Polite and pleasant, just a decent kid. Imagine my surprise when he asked me to sign his yearbook this year, his junior year, because he was leaving. It seems that freshman year he was on the football team and a few of the "guys" decided to start a rumor. He tried to live it down, but it followed him to baseball, where he excelled and was on a traveling team. He quit that and did some other stuff, art club, science club, NHS, bowling, but these guys would NOT let the rumors die. Finally this year, he had had enough. He wants his senior year to be free of the innuendo that haunted him in class and out. So he's tranferring. I didn't know this was going on until now. But there were some coaches that did and they let it ride. And for that they should be ashamed. I was hoping he'd be in one of my advanced classes this year. He's just one of those students who actually enjoys learning. Sometimes I just wish kids would stop and see for a moment what they are doing to each other. As for summer, although this year has been pretty easy and productive, the last day left a bittersweet taste in my mouth. The glow is tarnished and I guess the idealistic hopes that I had for all of my students are just a little bit smaller in scope.
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Saturday, May 20, 2006
DaVinci Code OR Will You Fundamentalist Please Lighten Up!!!!
Below is an actual review by my actual daughter and my response. I loved the book, probably because of all the art mentioned. I was hopeful that the movie would be equally entertaining. And that is the key word -ENTERTAINING. Things can be entertaining without being the truth. "Scrubs" is entertaining but I hope to God it's fiction. Ditto, "The Office". And this is where I get super perturbed with the street corner fundamentalists. It's like they are doing a daily performance of "Debbie Downer" and proceed to suck the joy and humor out of every single day's experience. I realize there are some serious things in life, but if God had meant us to wander around in perpetual depression and fear he wouldn't have invented Prozac. I am tired tired tired of every single aspect of existence being weighed and found wanting by one group or another. Our schools are rife with lawsuits both pro and con of people that are far more concerned with their own beliefs and dismissive of the beliefs of others. Our textbooks must pass through hurdles of political correctness and rings of fire of religious scrutiny. While I wouldn't prevent anyone from practicing their faith, more and more I see people use their faith as a social weapon. People are accepted or dismissed from social and professional groups based on whether they attend church, and if so, which one. I have been preached at by those who leave the precepts of Christianity on the doorstep of the church when they leave on Sunday and been informed of my eternal destination by those who claim to have the "only" knowledge based on their pastor's interpretation of a Bible that has gone through numerous edits since its inception. Here's the scoop folks....I will accept that you and I are different, have different ideas and beliefs and I will let you live your life. But I expect the same consideration. More and more, the religious intolerance on BOTH sides is tearing us apart. And what's more, as with politics, it isn't the vast 80% in the middle of the issue, it's the 10% at either end of the spectrum that are pushing this fight. "The DaVinci Code" is just a movie and should be judged on only its merits as entertainment. This dogfight between extremists is dragging us all down. How about the 80% of us in the middle leave them to fight it out and we go get a glass of iced tea or better yet, a margarita?
----- Original Message -----
From:
To:
Sent: Saturday, May 20, 2006 11:18 AM
Subject: Review of Da Vinci Code
Thought you'd like to see the review I wrote on Yahoo about the DVC. I saw it last night, very good, and needlessly slammed by critics per usual. Enjoy:As an avid Dan Brown reader, I of course was one of the first in line to view the Da Vinci Code. My friends and I, all who had read the book, weren't expecting much from the movie, not only because of the poor reviews it was given by critics but the identical reviews it was given by close friends of ours. Everyone kept stating "if you read the book and enjoyed it, this movie will frustrate you and leave you unsatisfied."However, I found this to be quite the contrary to my actual experience of the movie. Ron Ho wards' directing was phenomenal. His grasp of the knowledge that Brown stuffed into his award-winning novel was flawlessly portrayed. Admittedly, there were a few points in the movie he may have skipped over or changed--for example, using the cellular phone to find information on the Knight's tomb was much less intense than Brown's original use of the library, however it was possibly more believable considering their time constraints. I also thought that the character of Sophie Neveu could've been played harder and less like the doe-eyed Sophie we saw. But overall, I found Howard's choices to be tasteful and helped the movie flow seamlessly.As for the other actor's portrayls, I felt that Tom Hanks nailed his character of Robert Langdon to a T. I heard that many felt his performance was lacking and that Ian McKellan stole the show as Teabing. While Teabing's excessive character turned-bad guy was a perfect role for McKellan, I hardly felt that it overpowered the role of Langdon. Perhaps because Langdon was the only real NORMAL character, not excessive in any light as a college professor, that many were put off by Hanks' performance, but what I saw was the everyman and how he would react in such a situation and that is often harder to act than a character with eccentric personality traits.I feel that the problem that many critics and viewers had with this movie is that they were expecting such a great novel to turn into an epic movie like Lord of the Rings, Narnia, or even the Matrix. However, I think that we've been thrust into this mindset so often today that we forget a good movie can be UNDER three hours long and still have a fully developed plot with interesting characters. Whether the subject-matter offends you or not, everyone has to admit that this movie was impressive and true to the story.
CK:I hope they post it. I saw the reviews, looking for some insight, on MSN and most of them seem to be KneeJerk Christians with political and religious axes to grind. In fact, it appeared that less than half of the derogatory postings came from people that had actually SEEN THE MOVIE, which I would think is one of the first criteria for a review. While I consider myself conservative, I am getting really peeved with people that have to inject their religious opinion into EVERY FREAKIN SEGMENT OF LIFE. There is such a thing as FICTION, just as there is such a thing as OPINION. Qualified opinions are those that review an actual event or production as it is, not as they think it is meant to be. It makes me want to scream out loud. Don't sweat the small stuff.
Love ya,
Mom
----- Original Message -----
From:
To:
Sent: Saturday, May 20, 2006 11:18 AM
Subject: Review of Da Vinci Code
Thought you'd like to see the review I wrote on Yahoo about the DVC. I saw it last night, very good, and needlessly slammed by critics per usual. Enjoy:As an avid Dan Brown reader, I of course was one of the first in line to view the Da Vinci Code. My friends and I, all who had read the book, weren't expecting much from the movie, not only because of the poor reviews it was given by critics but the identical reviews it was given by close friends of ours. Everyone kept stating "if you read the book and enjoyed it, this movie will frustrate you and leave you unsatisfied."However, I found this to be quite the contrary to my actual experience of the movie. Ron Ho wards' directing was phenomenal. His grasp of the knowledge that Brown stuffed into his award-winning novel was flawlessly portrayed. Admittedly, there were a few points in the movie he may have skipped over or changed--for example, using the cellular phone to find information on the Knight's tomb was much less intense than Brown's original use of the library, however it was possibly more believable considering their time constraints. I also thought that the character of Sophie Neveu could've been played harder and less like the doe-eyed Sophie we saw. But overall, I found Howard's choices to be tasteful and helped the movie flow seamlessly.As for the other actor's portrayls, I felt that Tom Hanks nailed his character of Robert Langdon to a T. I heard that many felt his performance was lacking and that Ian McKellan stole the show as Teabing. While Teabing's excessive character turned-bad guy was a perfect role for McKellan, I hardly felt that it overpowered the role of Langdon. Perhaps because Langdon was the only real NORMAL character, not excessive in any light as a college professor, that many were put off by Hanks' performance, but what I saw was the everyman and how he would react in such a situation and that is often harder to act than a character with eccentric personality traits.I feel that the problem that many critics and viewers had with this movie is that they were expecting such a great novel to turn into an epic movie like Lord of the Rings, Narnia, or even the Matrix. However, I think that we've been thrust into this mindset so often today that we forget a good movie can be UNDER three hours long and still have a fully developed plot with interesting characters. Whether the subject-matter offends you or not, everyone has to admit that this movie was impressive and true to the story.
CK:I hope they post it. I saw the reviews, looking for some insight, on MSN and most of them seem to be KneeJerk Christians with political and religious axes to grind. In fact, it appeared that less than half of the derogatory postings came from people that had actually SEEN THE MOVIE, which I would think is one of the first criteria for a review. While I consider myself conservative, I am getting really peeved with people that have to inject their religious opinion into EVERY FREAKIN SEGMENT OF LIFE. There is such a thing as FICTION, just as there is such a thing as OPINION. Qualified opinions are those that review an actual event or production as it is, not as they think it is meant to be. It makes me want to scream out loud. Don't sweat the small stuff.
Love ya,
Mom
Friday, May 19, 2006
Can Swastikas be Far Behind?
I hope it's just a rumor.
But, the same man who jokingly calls himself "Hitler" and who leads the Iranian nation seems to be following in some less that illustrious footsteps. It seems he wants Christians and Jews and others that are considered heathen, to be marked by wearing a badge of their religious affiliation. I read "Night" and "Diary of Anne Frank" as well as other holocaust related stories. I am not Jewish, but it wasn't only Jews that suffered in the long-run. Catholics, Gypsies, homosexuals, the infirm, the retarded, the disabled...these were all targets. Doctors and lawyers in ethics classes often discuss the "slippery slope" as a theory that one act would make it easier for the next to occur. That has been the hurdle to assisted suicide-the question being at what point are we "assisting" too much? In this case, there is a LONG history of pogroms organized and local, national discrimination and total obliteration. The Christian church isn't absolved of this as it is still living out the numerous innocents killed by the Inquisition and the now resulting diaspora of Hispanic Jews that immigrated to New Spain, where their family traditions were those of the Jewish faithful, although publicly for protection, they claimed Catholicism. Should we as people who KNOW about the Holocaust and the previous instances of attempted destruction of the Jewish people, stand by in silence while once again the machine of death rears its head in the form of an Iranian demagogue that dares to claim that there are people subhuman to him? I don't think so. And if we do stand by and allow this to happen in Israel, when we went to Yugoslavia to save Muslims there, then the United Nations and the European Union and all the various treaties and contracts will mean NOTHING. Remember, one of the basic tenets of the devoutful Muslim is that they don't have to honor contracts or promises with infidels. And the term infidel could mean anyone they don't agree with. In a civilization where eye for an eye is the norm, is it wise to allow them the technology to take that attitude on an international scale?
But, the same man who jokingly calls himself "Hitler" and who leads the Iranian nation seems to be following in some less that illustrious footsteps. It seems he wants Christians and Jews and others that are considered heathen, to be marked by wearing a badge of their religious affiliation. I read "Night" and "Diary of Anne Frank" as well as other holocaust related stories. I am not Jewish, but it wasn't only Jews that suffered in the long-run. Catholics, Gypsies, homosexuals, the infirm, the retarded, the disabled...these were all targets. Doctors and lawyers in ethics classes often discuss the "slippery slope" as a theory that one act would make it easier for the next to occur. That has been the hurdle to assisted suicide-the question being at what point are we "assisting" too much? In this case, there is a LONG history of pogroms organized and local, national discrimination and total obliteration. The Christian church isn't absolved of this as it is still living out the numerous innocents killed by the Inquisition and the now resulting diaspora of Hispanic Jews that immigrated to New Spain, where their family traditions were those of the Jewish faithful, although publicly for protection, they claimed Catholicism. Should we as people who KNOW about the Holocaust and the previous instances of attempted destruction of the Jewish people, stand by in silence while once again the machine of death rears its head in the form of an Iranian demagogue that dares to claim that there are people subhuman to him? I don't think so. And if we do stand by and allow this to happen in Israel, when we went to Yugoslavia to save Muslims there, then the United Nations and the European Union and all the various treaties and contracts will mean NOTHING. Remember, one of the basic tenets of the devoutful Muslim is that they don't have to honor contracts or promises with infidels. And the term infidel could mean anyone they don't agree with. In a civilization where eye for an eye is the norm, is it wise to allow them the technology to take that attitude on an international scale?
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Illegal Immigration Part Deux
I read this recent story in the Sunday May 14, 2006 edition of the Dallas Morning News. It was on the front page of their website, but strangely, probably due to the flak they are getting online, the story is no longer there. In this story,they paint a rosy picture of the Hispanic family-hardworking, diligent, virtuous. It lacks one little thing. It never ever points out the impact of this family's illegal position and how it affects the rest of us who are already here. Try to get to the story if you can. I will post it later if they will ever let me back in.
Below is my response:
I am sure the family featured on you Sunday front page in regards to the illegal immigration situation is perfectly nice. But there are some issues that your writer chose to avoid. For example, it’s stated that the father uses a Social Security number that isn’t his. That’s illegal. And if it is a number belonging to someone else, it could endanger that person’s retirement funds if income isn’t declared under that social security number for tax purposes. Further more, it could be preventing a surviving spouse or family the money that is theirs due to payment into the system. Is this nice? At that point it becomes identity fraud. So now there are two laws are broken, immigration and identity fraud.
Add to that the whole taxation issue. If they live in a single family home, their rent may cover the education of their children. However, if their children merit special services such as special education, ESL, free meals or any other program that is federally mandated but not funded, then the impact comes back upon the children who are here legally in the form of diminished programs and services and larger class sizes. It isn’t just a coincidence that the school systems that are struggling financially are those with a large population of children from families that have chosen to come here illegally. When in-state tuition is offered to people here illegally, the burden to make up the difference in the form of higher tuition and fees is the average student who is here legally or who was born here. The flooding of aid programs by students here from outside of the country has made it increasingly difficult for the average student to get any student aid. Shouldn’t we be looking out for our own kids first? Wouldn't that be nice?
Below is my response:
I am sure the family featured on you Sunday front page in regards to the illegal immigration situation is perfectly nice. But there are some issues that your writer chose to avoid. For example, it’s stated that the father uses a Social Security number that isn’t his. That’s illegal. And if it is a number belonging to someone else, it could endanger that person’s retirement funds if income isn’t declared under that social security number for tax purposes. Further more, it could be preventing a surviving spouse or family the money that is theirs due to payment into the system. Is this nice? At that point it becomes identity fraud. So now there are two laws are broken, immigration and identity fraud.
Add to that the whole taxation issue. If they live in a single family home, their rent may cover the education of their children. However, if their children merit special services such as special education, ESL, free meals or any other program that is federally mandated but not funded, then the impact comes back upon the children who are here legally in the form of diminished programs and services and larger class sizes. It isn’t just a coincidence that the school systems that are struggling financially are those with a large population of children from families that have chosen to come here illegally. When in-state tuition is offered to people here illegally, the burden to make up the difference in the form of higher tuition and fees is the average student who is here legally or who was born here. The flooding of aid programs by students here from outside of the country has made it increasingly difficult for the average student to get any student aid. Shouldn’t we be looking out for our own kids first? Wouldn't that be nice?
Consider automobile insurance. It's estimated that 20% of the drivers in Texas are unlicensed and have no insurance. I know families that defer the driving Rite of Passage until kids are 17 or 18 due to the high cost of insurance. The uninsured driver clause is part of what drives up the costs. If you get hit by a citizen, you may have some legal recourse,but if you are hit by a drivers with a fake ID and no insurance, then YOU will be paying the deductible AND the higher insurance rates as this scenario is enacted thousands of times in a year. So were these "nice" immigrants driving themselves to work and school legally? Or are they part of the protest against confiscation of cars involved in wrecks when no proof of insurance is given? Is this nice?
Look at Parkland Hospital, or any other large county hospital where many of these people go for routine medical services. Many of these illegal workers do not receive any insurance through their work and a simple delivery of a child may run up to $12,000. That comes directly out of the taxes paid into the hospital district and is further impacted because surrounding cities often send undocumented workers there for services. Parkland is not permitted to turn them away, nor should they be, but to make this as if there isn’t any negative financial impact is glossing over the issue. Is it nice to get medical services that your own native country won't provide and then not pay for them?
Additionally, our economy works on the principles of supply and demand. If there is a supply of workers willing to work off the books for less than minimum wage, employers will use that to pad their profits and workers who are here legally may end up without jobs. Many of the jobs that are taken are the entry level jobs needed for high school and college student graduates to get experience to move onto other jobs within the economy. An underground supply of workers undercuts our young people and creates a situation where they either do without a job and return to school or they end up working several jobs just to make ends meet and pay off student loans.
Finally, where is the discourse on how Mexico has abdicated its role to provide education, health and welfare and other economic opportunities to their own citizens? Instead it appears as if the Mexican government is content to send their people here to earn money that is returned to Mexico. The United States is being used as a social safety valve and perhaps if some of the people in Mexico would stay there and create a climate of change from the corruption and graft that has become commonplace along the border, there would be no need for them to leave their homes and come here illegally.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Newsweeks Top 1000 Schools or Why Journalists Should be Required to Take Math in College
I really was amused and the wailing and gnashing of teeth in the faculty lounge over the rank rankings of Newsweeks Top 1000 Schools. First of all, a long time rival was listed and we weren't. Secondly, when I look at the methodology, I have some serious questions. I am from Dallas. I went to high school and college here. I raised my kids here. So in one way or another I have been involved and knowledgeable about the goings on in local school districts for the last 30 years. I wouldn't really argue with most of the top two hundred, of which I know a few in the area as well as statewide. But when you get down around 500, there are some glaring omissions along with some laughable inclusions. In one district that I know of the school with the highest dropout and teen pregnancy rate was listed and the school with the lowest dropout rate and most kids in AP classes wasn't.First of all, there are some schools that work their tails off to retain students and keep them working, even when they fail. Those kids may graduate and therefore add to the final number of the graduating class. Divide the number of AP tests taken into that and the margin makes that school lower ranked than a similar school who runs off their marginal kids by sophomore year and has a smaller graduating class. Or at least that is the way it appears. This whole issue of class size is the biggest problem. Class sizes can vary greatly in one year depending on programs changing, plant closures, business failures or openings. There's really very little a school can do to control the numbers. Usually the number of kids in AP programs is constant throughout their school career. Some schools encourage any kid to take an AP test, which I think is a ridiculous waste of time and money, but they do it because it makes them appear successful on paper. Other schools educate the kids who are headed for AP testing and expect them to take the test. So the crucial factor is how many kids leave the class BEFORE graduation. If you manage to run off the problem children by 10th grade, then you have a smaller class and a solid core of AP test takers to rake in the money and make the school look good. While I appreciate what Newsweek was trying in their own lame fashion to do, I think they cooked the books somewhat in trying to make sure the outcome was a nicely balanced group of urban, suburban and country schools. Look at the list again. Look at the oddly balanced number of selected private schools and charters, just to make the numbers look nice on paper. I hate to sound cynical, but this is a poll. And you can influence a poll by carefully selecting your sources. That is what they did, and this list is the result. I wish the rest of the people I know in education didn't take it so seriously. It's just another feel-good op-ed piece designed to highlight how great "everyone" is doing. I just wonder what former highschool cheerleader came up with the idea.
Monday, May 01, 2006
More information on the economic impact of illegal aliens....
I ran across a couple of interesting posts on the Dallas Morning News opinion blog. It's from Tancredo, who is very much concerned with the negative impact that the huge storm surge of illegal aliens on Colorado. Being on the border I would imagine that Texas and other border states are feeling the pinch even more. Locally it was announced today that the county hospital for Dallas will ask for TEN MILLION dollars to make up the shortfall from uninsured patients. Not all of these are illegal or even minorities, but most of the babies born at Parkland are Hispanic and if even a third are uninsured and don't pay @ at least @ $10,000 per delivery and hospital stay, it runs into a chunk of change. And that doesn't even include the injuries, carwreck and other accidents that end up in Parkland's remarkable but overworked emergency room. As for the boycott itself, from what I saw the numbers were way down and the majority of my students were in class. Once again, I don't think anyone begrudges a job or housing or any service from immigrants who follow the law and come here to become part of the mix. What most people seem to resent is that Mexico and Mexicans are demanding services for their people who break our law, come here illegally, work here illegally, sponge off of our welfare, educational and health systems for services that the government in Mexico City doesn't seem interested enough to provide. The United States is their safety valve. And if you read the stats in the article, even with a grain of salt, it makes you wonder if much of the explosion of crime in places such as Dallas, Houston and San Diego may all come from the same dubious source. We must close our borders. It's a matter of economic need, of health and welfare needs and of defense. I don't know why that's so hard to understand.
Oh BTW...to all those national businesses that closed in "solidarity" today...I didn't miss you guys today, so I guess you won't miss my dollars in the future. Take that Tyson, and Hacienda Ranch. I make better guacamole anyway.....
AND...I don't think it's a coincidence that this protest occurred on what is traditionally a "Workers Day" in Communist countries. I guess it's time to rerack all those Che Guevara T-shirts at the local Gap.....
http://article.nationalreview.com/q=NTBlOTVlNDFkNTYwOTg4YWYxMThkZmE2MWZhMmVjMWM=
Oh BTW...to all those national businesses that closed in "solidarity" today...I didn't miss you guys today, so I guess you won't miss my dollars in the future. Take that Tyson, and Hacienda Ranch. I make better guacamole anyway.....
AND...I don't think it's a coincidence that this protest occurred on what is traditionally a "Workers Day" in Communist countries. I guess it's time to rerack all those Che Guevara T-shirts at the local Gap.....
http://article.nationalreview.com/q=NTBlOTVlNDFkNTYwOTg4YWYxMThkZmE2MWZhMmVjMWM=
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Do the Math, this Boycott is costing TAX DOLLARS
In the recent boycott/protest in Dallas, it was estimated that the cost of the safety and welfare personnel was $400,000. Yes, that is one dollar for every person that protested. Read ONE TAXPAYER DOLLAR because that is where the money comes from. Tomorrow, if the powers of La Raza and LULAC have their ways, millions will walk out of schools and businesses and march. For schools, this means lower attendance which affects how states compensate the very same schools that are already education students who are here illegally for FREE. That is MORE TAXPAYER DOLLARS. For cities and towns it means, overtime for EMT's, police and traffic patrols. In times such as these when municipalities are having to cut services, this means that due to this march of people who are here illegally, more TAXPAYER DOLLARS will end up being used for that and not for such things as fire, ambulance, disaster, theft, crime and domestic disturbances, which in turn will drive up the crime stats. There are those who say that the Illegal Immigrants pay into taxes for services they don't recieve. I say, HOGWASH. Every time their children get free meals at school, free innoculations at the local clinic or medical services at the county hospital which is supported by TAXPAYER DOLLARS, they are using and abusing a system in which they do not participate as a full partner. I have even heard it said that if they were not being paid under the table and therefore exempt from taxes that the rest of us pay as a matter of fact, they would not do the jobs they do. I have no issue with those who come here legally, but I think the bar needs to be set high, as it was for my grandfather and grandmother so here goes-
-Learn English-believe it or not it's part of LULAC's charter. They believed then that economic empowerment came with learning English. Why that has changed I don't know, but the rules still apply.
-Pay your fair share. Expect to pay taxes not just on purchases, but on your income as well.
-Support the programs you are getting for free by insisting that you children attend school and make progress. Be part of the solution.
-Don't do things that cripple an economic system that has made it possible for you to work for far more than you would in your native country. That is known as killing the Goose that Laid the Golden Egg. It's foolish on too many levels to name.
-Don't just send money home. Save some, plan a future that involves something other than just sitting around. The idea of working for ten years to retire for forty is silly and will only result in failure down the road. If not here, then back home, because economies change and have a way of imploding when they aren't controlled, and Mexico is ripe for a bout of inflation.
-Learn English-believe it or not it's part of LULAC's charter. They believed then that economic empowerment came with learning English. Why that has changed I don't know, but the rules still apply.
-Pay your fair share. Expect to pay taxes not just on purchases, but on your income as well.
-Support the programs you are getting for free by insisting that you children attend school and make progress. Be part of the solution.
-Don't do things that cripple an economic system that has made it possible for you to work for far more than you would in your native country. That is known as killing the Goose that Laid the Golden Egg. It's foolish on too many levels to name.
-Don't just send money home. Save some, plan a future that involves something other than just sitting around. The idea of working for ten years to retire for forty is silly and will only result in failure down the road. If not here, then back home, because economies change and have a way of imploding when they aren't controlled, and Mexico is ripe for a bout of inflation.
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Current Observations on Immigration
In watching the news lately I have observed a few things. First of all, there seems to be a certain uneasiness on the part of mainstream news to take obvious sides in the immigration debate. I find that fascinating in that usually their bias one way or the other is pretty transparent. I also did a little bit of research and found out some surprising details. Did you know that in LULAC's Charter, there is a mandate to LEARN ENGLISH???? Look it up. It's right there in black and white. So obviously some of the earlier immigrants discovered that acquisition of the English language would further empower them. Following that thought, what does the consistent application of bilingualism, which marginalizes English into a secondary language, seek to create in the students? Could it be that some of the people in power in the Latino community desire that their followers be ignorant of the REAL ISSUES? I know that Americans can't vote in Mexico, yet that is what is being suggested here right now. There's also a great deal of talk about how the "first illegal immigrants were Austin, Houston, Bowie and Travis...." which isn't true anyway since the Mexican government wanted someone else to live in the border areas to cushion their cities from Indian attacks from the north. And plus, there's just one little issue, within Mexico many people pride themselves on their "Spanish Heritage". Spain is a EUROPEAN NATION. Cortez came and slaughtered the innocent Aztecs. So doesn't that make at least some of the more Spanish Mexicans, European invaders right up there with Columbs (Italian), LaFitte (French) and DeVaca (oops, Spanish again....). This total nonsense of Mexico claiming that the American west was "stolen" is nothing more that saber-rattling conjecture. If Mexico had had the army and the wealth to maintain their hold on the section from California to Louisiana, they would have it still. Once again, to hit the specific points against unchecked immigration with such travel no one would
- Have a way to check the legality of people entering or leaving a nation making terrorism even more possible.
- Be able to prevent the spread of serious and formerly dormant communicable diseases from infected persons.
- Be able to maintain a decent salary due to the undercutting by black market economies.
- Be able to travel into Mexico because this system supports the governments corruption and strengthens the hold drug cartels have on border towns on either side of the Rio Grande.
Mexico is using the US as a way to provide their citizens with free healthcare, education and safety-all things that Mexico should be doing for its people by itself. We are the safety valve that keeps corruption in power. The way to cleanse Mexico is to shut the borders, prevent the unchecked flow of hard currency from the US into Mexico, stop providing services without documentation.
I wonder if the leaders of the Monday scheduled walkouts have considered what would happen if all the Mexicans walked out and business went on as usual? What then compadre? Maybe the US citizens, which already work more hours than the rest of the free world, would just do like always and suck it up and keep on working. The people I feel sorry for are those here legally who must answer for the stupidity of those that fall in line with politicians that have more of an interest in posing for CNN than in solving problems. If the Dems were so excited about solving this issue, why did they shut down the bill?
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Gotta Keep Em Separated...religion and the state university
As a somewhat conservative person, I do appreciate that freedom OF religion doesn't mean freedom FROM religion. But I do draw the line at abuse. And I see signs that things are going towards that in many sectors to a large degree. I am a Catholic as are my husband and children. We live our faith but allow others to make their own choices which I think is fair. We also happen to live in the shiny beltbuckle of the Bible Belt, sporting the former largest Baptist Church-now demoted to number two by the renovated facility in Houston. While most of these people are harmless, there are a number that are not only harmful, but downright offensive with their attitudes. Case in point would be the issue between my daughter and her dorm hall director. The hall director is a Conservative Baptist Christian American in that order. Her staff meetings became prayer sessions and her Girl's Night Out became Bible Study. On the surface, these aren't harmful, except that my daughter chose not to attend due to a class conflict and a general uneasy feeling. So all the women on the staff were expected to go to church, the same church, the hall director's church. When my daughter didn't show up, their were cold shoulders tossed and catty jibes. This is a STATE university. Also, as part of their "Christian" duty no doubt, girls were expected to babysit the hall director's baby. When anyone balked, their rating went down. My daughter's wing won hall of the year for the past two years, yet when she tried to switch dorms for next fall due to the pressure to conform, her rating mysteriously went down and she didn't get a bid to work. Despite being RA of the year. Despite having the highest GPA on staff. Despite working while sick, handling everything from drunk coeds to fights. And all because of the vindictive hypocrisy of her hall director. I don't begrudge anyone a chance to worship as long as it doesn't impact me, but more and more religion is being used as a hammer to pressure public institutions to bend to the will of a religious minority. This isn't the first time we have had a run in with a well-meaning alleged Christian. While in elementary the head of the local Baptist Sunday School's daughter told my child she was going to hell. When I approached the mother that such things were certainly not kind, she agreed but then SAID THE SAME THING TO ME! What kind of "church" teaches such vile opinions to children? We point fingers at groups such as the Taliban and AlQuada that preach a sermon of hatred and worship death, but when someone in charge uses their misplaced authority to keep a college student from working-losing them their income and their residence, then something is VERY VERY WRONG. My daughter is tired of fighting the fight and wants to finish out the term and go away, but if things went down the way I think they did, then there are some serious lies in her employment record, and they need to be cleared up before she signs off on anything. Has anyone else dealt with such things at a STATE UNIVERSITY???? Now at Baylor or Abilene Christian, I could possibly see it, but that is the very reason she chose a STATE UNIVERSITY.....seriously.
A very interesting blog...
I highly recommend this blog...cool stuff. Especially the haiku, but don't be decieved...
http://suburbdad.blogspot.com/
http://suburbdad.blogspot.com/
The Trouble with Colleges
It used to be that a college diploma was a tacit agreement that you were a success and could expect good things in life. A generation ago, just getting through high school was a miracle in some parts of this country. Now the broad based assumption is that "everyone should go to college." I want to tell you that the conventional wisdom is dead wrong. Everyone does NOT belong in college although in certain corners it is expected and some segments of society feel they are entitled to admission. Let me say a couple of things here....I think we are fooling ourselves and our kids if we let them pass through high school assuming that they belong in college. Not everyone is capable of what should be a rigorous level of academic achievement. But a couple of things are happening that I find troubling. First of all, unless you are poor, or a minority, or disabled, it has become increasingly difficult to afford a conventional four year college. I know kids, my daughter for one, who have high school records of AP classes and high grades along with college class GPA's of 3.8, who file requests for scholarships and aid, and get NOTHING. I also know of athletes who really can barely function in high school classes, who are getting four year free rides. What is wrong with this picture. We don't support the kids who will probably be running things in ten years, but we do fund kids who have maybe a 2% chance of playing their game professionally? What message does this send? Believe me the kids know.
Another issue is that colleges and universities have become so isolated from the rest of us that they often create issues and barriers to the average student where none existed before. What should be their responsibility, such as lecturing, counseling, teaching and advising, is seen as drudge work to be done under duress and then with little accuracy or understanding on the huge financial burden every mistake means. When a kid is told to take a class, buys the overpriced textbook (which can't be sold back because a new version is coming.....!!!!) and then finds that due to lack of information the class won't apply to the degree plan or even worse, prevents them from taking needed classes in a timely fashion, there should be some professional repercussions against the advisor. I have seen this happen twice now to my daughter. Remember her, the one with the 3.8 GPA. She works her tail off, but due to the silly way that class hours are assigned, she won't graduate for another two years. While our current state governor wants there to be limits and penalties for students that take longer than four years in college, I wonder how in the world he thinks average families and average kids are going to do that without mortgaging the family home? My kids both work full time. Despite requests, jobs on campus go to those who are connected (i.e. politically connected kiss-ups and perky Greeks) while the rest of the kids work two or three jobs to live at subsistence level. My son currently has $55 left over at the end of the month. And with gas going up, that will be swallowed quickly.
Something has GOT to change. We are sending kids to school who have no intention of doing anything other than wasting money and simply getting wasted in general. The kids who are trying to do the right thing are either in debt up to their eyeballs with college loans or they are struggling just to eat once a day. When is someone going to stop caring so much about those who don't even care and give some support to the kids who are doing the right thing?
Another issue is that colleges and universities have become so isolated from the rest of us that they often create issues and barriers to the average student where none existed before. What should be their responsibility, such as lecturing, counseling, teaching and advising, is seen as drudge work to be done under duress and then with little accuracy or understanding on the huge financial burden every mistake means. When a kid is told to take a class, buys the overpriced textbook (which can't be sold back because a new version is coming.....!!!!) and then finds that due to lack of information the class won't apply to the degree plan or even worse, prevents them from taking needed classes in a timely fashion, there should be some professional repercussions against the advisor. I have seen this happen twice now to my daughter. Remember her, the one with the 3.8 GPA. She works her tail off, but due to the silly way that class hours are assigned, she won't graduate for another two years. While our current state governor wants there to be limits and penalties for students that take longer than four years in college, I wonder how in the world he thinks average families and average kids are going to do that without mortgaging the family home? My kids both work full time. Despite requests, jobs on campus go to those who are connected (i.e. politically connected kiss-ups and perky Greeks) while the rest of the kids work two or three jobs to live at subsistence level. My son currently has $55 left over at the end of the month. And with gas going up, that will be swallowed quickly.
Something has GOT to change. We are sending kids to school who have no intention of doing anything other than wasting money and simply getting wasted in general. The kids who are trying to do the right thing are either in debt up to their eyeballs with college loans or they are struggling just to eat once a day. When is someone going to stop caring so much about those who don't even care and give some support to the kids who are doing the right thing?
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Why Hasn't Mexico Stepped Up to the Plate Rather than Up to the Table?
One thing that I have not seen in the media, is the opinion of WHY so many people seek to leave their homeland and come here. I think it has a great deal to do with Mexico's abdication of responsibility in regards to the safety and welfare of the majority of its population. In all candor, I can't say I would do any differently if faced with the graft-ridden government that claims to function on behalf of the Mexican people. I think on Vicente Fox's part there is a certain amount of cultural grandstanding which has led to the two-fold issue of playing the race card and making a claim upon the "return of Atzlan". Both of these should be non-starters, but the media gives those views play without asking what Mexico has done for its own people.
I work with a very well-educated lady from Mexico City, and the kids she is seeing at the high school level are not only unable to read and speak English, but are largely illiterate in Spanish. English is a minor hurdle because if the child is fluent in Spanish, there are ways to reach common ground and common goals. But if the student is illiterate in their own tongue, they have the double whammy of ignorance of their own language and inability to reach understanding of the language that will provide them economic gain. Mexico is relying on the U.S. to provide education and health care and other services because it chooses NOT to provide those things. Add to that the millions of dollars of U.S. currency that flow into Mexico keeping its economy afloat, and there is no reason for Mexico to even try to enforce its borders.
We must change that. We need to make it costly to employ undocumented workers, more expensive to send money out of the country and harder to obtain services without documentation. Even France, that bastion of the politically correct and socially progressive, makes people have some sort of proof of entitlement before giving services. I don't think it is too much to expect at least a minimal adherence to our laws and standards.
It's galling to have someone break the law by entering illegally, using bogus Social Security numbers and avoid paying their share of the burden and then having that same person DEMAND that their views be catered to. It's an insult to the millions who have come here before LEGALLY and those who wait patiently to do the same.
I work with a very well-educated lady from Mexico City, and the kids she is seeing at the high school level are not only unable to read and speak English, but are largely illiterate in Spanish. English is a minor hurdle because if the child is fluent in Spanish, there are ways to reach common ground and common goals. But if the student is illiterate in their own tongue, they have the double whammy of ignorance of their own language and inability to reach understanding of the language that will provide them economic gain. Mexico is relying on the U.S. to provide education and health care and other services because it chooses NOT to provide those things. Add to that the millions of dollars of U.S. currency that flow into Mexico keeping its economy afloat, and there is no reason for Mexico to even try to enforce its borders.
We must change that. We need to make it costly to employ undocumented workers, more expensive to send money out of the country and harder to obtain services without documentation. Even France, that bastion of the politically correct and socially progressive, makes people have some sort of proof of entitlement before giving services. I don't think it is too much to expect at least a minimal adherence to our laws and standards.
It's galling to have someone break the law by entering illegally, using bogus Social Security numbers and avoid paying their share of the burden and then having that same person DEMAND that their views be catered to. It's an insult to the millions who have come here before LEGALLY and those who wait patiently to do the same.
Friday, April 14, 2006
What Do You Believe?
Faith is an iffy sort of thing. Faith is what keeps us waking up in the morning and allows us to sleep at night. But faith is very different than religion. Faith is the core belief in something or someone more powerful than yourself. Religion is the social trappings of faith as interpreted by man. I like to think that I have faith, in God, in my Family, in myself. But I don't consider myself religious. Not any more. I used to be very religious. Mass on Sunday, fasting, teaching CCD the works. But at some point between the disdain of certain Bible Belt Religions and the truly tragic problems in my own church, I just don't feel like I belong. I go when my Mom comes to town. I go on holidays, but there's not a real connection. I wish I had that. I wish that my kids had felt more connected to something spiritual growing up. But the Catholic Church didn't offer much for teenagers when my kids were in high school. Their friends went off to church camp and choir and other activities, but for our kids there was just this void. They were neither fish nor fowl. Other kids would ask them if they were Christian, claiming that our status was questionable in the eyes of some denominations. My daughter had even been told she was going to hell, by a Sunday School Teacher's daughter. Is this really what was meant by The Word? That we would belittle and betray each other but fool ourselves into thinking we were "saved" simply because we said the right words and showed up every Sunday? Shouldn't there be more to faith than that? I am discouraged with the world. I am not a person that seeks people to dislike, but I see and hear so much of what my Mom calls "meanness". It's as if only our skin color and our car model determines our fate in life. I have tried to raise my kids to seek the truth behind the person, but honestly, they have had a hard time finding people that they can trust. I dont' know who to trust any more. Sometimes it seems like I am bearing the world on my shoulders. I wish my trust was stronger or that I didn't need such clear truth in order to follow. But sadly, I am just not that willing to trust. I've been hurt too much and I am just so afraid that everything I know is wrong. Maybe it's just a bad time of day, or a bad time of year. Or a bad time to be alive. I just need something to change. I need the world to change because fear is an awful tyrant to live with. And faith is fragile at best.
Monday, April 03, 2006
April 10th
For years I have hated my birthday due to its unfortunate association with Hitler. So many incidents of violence and sheet blind stupidity have occurred on my birthday that it makes me concerned about other days as well. One of them comes up next Monday. There have been rumors of mass protests by Hispanic students in our city. Let me tell you why that is a bad idea. Anyone who has been at an unchaperoned teen party can recall the mayhem that ensues and the menace that remains. Imagine that time 100. So you have these kids, some of whom have never been downtown before and don't know the ropes. They could be nice kids, but you have to assume that when a day out of school is involved, that there are some not so nice kids involved as well. I looked at the film clips of recent rallies and sure there were a few bright kids who knew the issues and could articulate them for the media circus. But for every one of them there were ten others waving flags, shouting epithets and generally behaving like uncontrolled unsupervised teenagers. The sad thing is that if someone gets hurt, the schools will be the first to be blamed. The worst case scenario is that gang members, and yes they were there, you can see them dress like a bunch of identical twin thugs throughout the crowds, will come armed. It doesn't take much to set off some of these people. And if you get the wrong two gangs in the middle of a crowd you could end up with a massacre. There was nothing really "peaceful" about these rallies. There is nothing "peaceful" about breaking the law and then demanding arbitration as if you are special. Lots and lots and lots of people are waiting all over the world to come to the US. They pay their dues, file their papers, learn the language and wait while others break the laws, overload the educational and social welfare system and generally take without returning anything meaningful to society. Spare me the one about "jobs Americans don't want" because I guarantee that if the jobs are there, somewhere an American is doing them. The deal is that illegal immigrants are crossing over, breaking laws and employers use that as justification to pay lower under the table black market wages, which siphon down to Mexico and help keep their lame economy afloat. If the people who came here had stayed and force meaningful change in Mexico City, then the citizens of that nation would have no reason to leave. But I don't understand leaving a nation that has abandoned its people econmically, and then putting down and insulting the nation that you snuck into through these protests. If you think these kids know the score consider this-
Students at Turner HS in Carrollton left school to march to Carrollton City Hall. They walked up Josey to the next high school, Newman Smith. Those students couldn't leave due to a lockdown. So the Turner kids kept walking, until they reached a parking lot at the nearby Target. They were lost. They had walked RIGHT PAST THE CITY HALL on Josey and didn't have a clue. And these are the people we are supposed to support as cutting edge politicians? Please......
Students at Turner HS in Carrollton left school to march to Carrollton City Hall. They walked up Josey to the next high school, Newman Smith. Those students couldn't leave due to a lockdown. So the Turner kids kept walking, until they reached a parking lot at the nearby Target. They were lost. They had walked RIGHT PAST THE CITY HALL on Josey and didn't have a clue. And these are the people we are supposed to support as cutting edge politicians? Please......
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Favorite Mystery Writers
I read according to mood. I started reading mysteries while cloistered at my grandparents house in Enid, Oklahoma-better known as "The Land That Time Forgot". Anyway, I found myself wading through mysteries and I have found a group that I enjoy. Hopefully you will as well. Post a comment if you have any questions....
1. Anything by Tony Hillerman-He's the tops, he's the Tower of Pisa...etc.
2. Anything by Dorthy Sayers, but for God's sake read them in order......
3. Steven Saylor-He's a former University of Texas Classic professor that has a series based in Ancient Rome. Good Stuff, although my favorite book deals with the missing years of O. Henry called "A Twist at the End". Anyone who loves Austin, has been to Austin or has heard of Austin should read it.
4. Leslie Davis-Similar stuff to Saylor. Sad to say her American publisher dropped her before I got the last book, but when I emailed her, she responded that there was a new publisher in the works, so hopefully, her books will be back at Borders soon.
5. Nevada Barr-It's a vacation in a national park with a mystery thrown in . Fun.
6.Jessican Speart-Sort a poor womans' Nevada Barr. Similar stuff.
7. J. A. Jance-Really strong writing, although I prefer her woman sheriff protaganist to the private eye. Great reads, they will keep your attention.
8. Leslie Glass-Her main character is intriguing, once again introducing a culture unknown to most of us. Good plots, great flow, good stuff.
9. Barbara Hambly-Interesting main character, a free man of color who is trained as a doctor, but resides in New Orleans sometime prior to the Civil War from the sounds of it. Interesting takes on New Orleans and on history.
10. Elizabeth George-Terrific and well detailed British writing in the great footsteps of Dorthy Sayers.
11. Faye Kellerman-With all due respects to her husband, her work at incorporating a very interesting and mostly unknown culture within the framework of a Los Angeles Police story, is breathtaking.
12. Rick Riordan-San Antonio is probably one of my favorite towns. Riordan lends a knowledgeable hand to the the Golden Triangle that exists between Austin and SA. Good stuff.
13. Laura Lippman-Based in Baltinmore, this is a good series. I have kind of lost track, but I will see what the bookstore has for me the next time I go.
Ironic how there are thirteen authors....oh well. Let me know what you think, or better yet, since I read obsessively and end up reading EVERYTHING an author has in no time, give me ideas for others to read.
1. Anything by Tony Hillerman-He's the tops, he's the Tower of Pisa...etc.
2. Anything by Dorthy Sayers, but for God's sake read them in order......
3. Steven Saylor-He's a former University of Texas Classic professor that has a series based in Ancient Rome. Good Stuff, although my favorite book deals with the missing years of O. Henry called "A Twist at the End". Anyone who loves Austin, has been to Austin or has heard of Austin should read it.
4. Leslie Davis-Similar stuff to Saylor. Sad to say her American publisher dropped her before I got the last book, but when I emailed her, she responded that there was a new publisher in the works, so hopefully, her books will be back at Borders soon.
5. Nevada Barr-It's a vacation in a national park with a mystery thrown in . Fun.
6.Jessican Speart-Sort a poor womans' Nevada Barr. Similar stuff.
7. J. A. Jance-Really strong writing, although I prefer her woman sheriff protaganist to the private eye. Great reads, they will keep your attention.
8. Leslie Glass-Her main character is intriguing, once again introducing a culture unknown to most of us. Good plots, great flow, good stuff.
9. Barbara Hambly-Interesting main character, a free man of color who is trained as a doctor, but resides in New Orleans sometime prior to the Civil War from the sounds of it. Interesting takes on New Orleans and on history.
10. Elizabeth George-Terrific and well detailed British writing in the great footsteps of Dorthy Sayers.
11. Faye Kellerman-With all due respects to her husband, her work at incorporating a very interesting and mostly unknown culture within the framework of a Los Angeles Police story, is breathtaking.
12. Rick Riordan-San Antonio is probably one of my favorite towns. Riordan lends a knowledgeable hand to the the Golden Triangle that exists between Austin and SA. Good stuff.
13. Laura Lippman-Based in Baltinmore, this is a good series. I have kind of lost track, but I will see what the bookstore has for me the next time I go.
Ironic how there are thirteen authors....oh well. Let me know what you think, or better yet, since I read obsessively and end up reading EVERYTHING an author has in no time, give me ideas for others to read.
Saturday, April 01, 2006
El Norte
I've been swamped for awhile so my blog has suffered. Not that anyone is reading this, but apologies anyway. I am baffled about the whole immigration issue. Being from Texas, I can tell you that Hispanics have contributed in ways both positive and negative. I don't think anyone really minds that people are crossing the border to seek a better life because the United States is a nation of immigrants-and yes that includes even the Native Americans who came from ancestors who crossed the Bering Land Bridge. I think what many people resent, and I include myself in this group, is the impression that the people who have broken OUR LAWS and crossed illegally feel totally entitled to do this. Similar attitudes towards Mexican laws are not tolerated south of the border, yet there is this sense of impunity, that they are owed, which grates on the nerves of many who have struggled just as hard to live from day to day.
Part of the problem is Mexico itself. Anyone who has followed the border war that exists between the Mexican government and the Drug Cartels is very aware that this is a corrupt government that appears more interested in sustaining the power at elite levels than addressing the needs for the vast poverty striken levels of the Mexican population. For a long time, desperate people have sought to come to the US to seek better pay. Much of that money returns to Mexico and in turn keeps a turgid Mexican economy from taking a dive. If you talk to any citizen,teacher, hospital, mayor or police officer along our border to the south, you will hear endless accounts of desperate poverty. Who can blame them for wanting to escape? But then again, by leaving their own country, they also give that nation a pass to continue the same old, tired systems that have offered so little to its citizens. El Norte, The United States, has become the safety valve that prevents the pressure cooker that is Mexico from exploding. So on that level, while I don't blame them for leaving, it does little to improve the conditions that exist in their native land.
The rest of the problem is that the pie isn't growing bigger. By that I mean, our resources are finite in amounts, and when countless number legally and illegally come to our country, they must contribute in a meaningful way to further our national goals. What is happening instead is that the willingness to work off the books for lower wages, is weakening the minimum wage and preventing those who were born, educated and live here from getting the entry level jobs that they need to break the cycles of poverty. This has been an issue in Florida for quite awhile, where young African American males are shut out of a job market in which Hispanics and bilingual are the rule. Should a person be REQUIRED to speak Spanish in the United States? While it is good to have more than one language, the strength of a nation is based on shared culture and shared goals. I don't know that a person who lives in this country for decades, but still doesn't speak or understand English could be considered a full participant in the American Experience. This is a different mindset than previous immigrants expressed. In the early twentieth century, ethnic Germans, Poles, Italians and Irish learned English and with that joined the rest of the melting pot. Right now, many of the immigrants from India, Asia and the Middle East work hard to move out of ESL classes and into the American Dream and are doing it in record numbers. Compare that with the huge numbers of students that linger in bilingual classes from Kindergarten through high school and never master the language enough to move past that level. There is no reason for them to learn when TV channels, media and even the government enable their unwillingness to become part of the bigger picture. And it's that resistance we saw on display during the student protests. (Incidentally, lest you think those were spontaneous and such, there were some big money sources promoting this internet campaign such as George Soros, and others of the same political views....)
I am not particularly offended by the protestors flying the Mexican flag. It is their national flag after all. I am however, deeply offended by the burning of the flag and the confrontation of the one girl who had and American flag. I guess in part I really don't understand. Mexicans leave a country that takes their taxes but doesn't support them for the United States, they take jobs for lower wages eroding the minimum wage and keeping OUR CITIZENS out of work, they get social and educational services for which they do not pay the same level of taxes, they send much of the money home in American dollars which is hard currency and floats the Mexican economy due to the exchange rate, and then they BURN THE US FLAG????? That's almost a declaration of way socially. The reasons that borders exist is because that is the limit of a nation's laws. Cross the border, new set of laws, it's as simple as that. So why is it that specifically Mexicans think they can come here, break our laws and get away with it? And they do on a daily basis. Just this week, a serial rapist caught in Ft. Worth, gang style killings along Webb Chapel Extension, a variety of drug and gang related crimes that fill our jails, make our streets unsafe and end up costing us more money. Perhaps if Mexico had a better grasp of their own problems, we would not inherit so many of them, but it's been estimated that 30% of the felons in prison in our state are from across the border. I don't know if they were career criminals before they cross the Rio Grande, but I do know that once you break one law, it is much easier to break more.
The only solution I can come up with is this-make a STRINGENT legal alien worker policy that sets PERMANENT limits on how long someone can stay with a work visa and ENFORCE IT. Build a wall all along the border and staff it with kids in a Civial Corps and pay the kids in college credits and scholarships to state schools. Make the rules stick and fine and/or jail those people, workers and company owners alike, who break them.
Part of the problem is Mexico itself. Anyone who has followed the border war that exists between the Mexican government and the Drug Cartels is very aware that this is a corrupt government that appears more interested in sustaining the power at elite levels than addressing the needs for the vast poverty striken levels of the Mexican population. For a long time, desperate people have sought to come to the US to seek better pay. Much of that money returns to Mexico and in turn keeps a turgid Mexican economy from taking a dive. If you talk to any citizen,teacher, hospital, mayor or police officer along our border to the south, you will hear endless accounts of desperate poverty. Who can blame them for wanting to escape? But then again, by leaving their own country, they also give that nation a pass to continue the same old, tired systems that have offered so little to its citizens. El Norte, The United States, has become the safety valve that prevents the pressure cooker that is Mexico from exploding. So on that level, while I don't blame them for leaving, it does little to improve the conditions that exist in their native land.
The rest of the problem is that the pie isn't growing bigger. By that I mean, our resources are finite in amounts, and when countless number legally and illegally come to our country, they must contribute in a meaningful way to further our national goals. What is happening instead is that the willingness to work off the books for lower wages, is weakening the minimum wage and preventing those who were born, educated and live here from getting the entry level jobs that they need to break the cycles of poverty. This has been an issue in Florida for quite awhile, where young African American males are shut out of a job market in which Hispanics and bilingual are the rule. Should a person be REQUIRED to speak Spanish in the United States? While it is good to have more than one language, the strength of a nation is based on shared culture and shared goals. I don't know that a person who lives in this country for decades, but still doesn't speak or understand English could be considered a full participant in the American Experience. This is a different mindset than previous immigrants expressed. In the early twentieth century, ethnic Germans, Poles, Italians and Irish learned English and with that joined the rest of the melting pot. Right now, many of the immigrants from India, Asia and the Middle East work hard to move out of ESL classes and into the American Dream and are doing it in record numbers. Compare that with the huge numbers of students that linger in bilingual classes from Kindergarten through high school and never master the language enough to move past that level. There is no reason for them to learn when TV channels, media and even the government enable their unwillingness to become part of the bigger picture. And it's that resistance we saw on display during the student protests. (Incidentally, lest you think those were spontaneous and such, there were some big money sources promoting this internet campaign such as George Soros, and others of the same political views....)
I am not particularly offended by the protestors flying the Mexican flag. It is their national flag after all. I am however, deeply offended by the burning of the flag and the confrontation of the one girl who had and American flag. I guess in part I really don't understand. Mexicans leave a country that takes their taxes but doesn't support them for the United States, they take jobs for lower wages eroding the minimum wage and keeping OUR CITIZENS out of work, they get social and educational services for which they do not pay the same level of taxes, they send much of the money home in American dollars which is hard currency and floats the Mexican economy due to the exchange rate, and then they BURN THE US FLAG????? That's almost a declaration of way socially. The reasons that borders exist is because that is the limit of a nation's laws. Cross the border, new set of laws, it's as simple as that. So why is it that specifically Mexicans think they can come here, break our laws and get away with it? And they do on a daily basis. Just this week, a serial rapist caught in Ft. Worth, gang style killings along Webb Chapel Extension, a variety of drug and gang related crimes that fill our jails, make our streets unsafe and end up costing us more money. Perhaps if Mexico had a better grasp of their own problems, we would not inherit so many of them, but it's been estimated that 30% of the felons in prison in our state are from across the border. I don't know if they were career criminals before they cross the Rio Grande, but I do know that once you break one law, it is much easier to break more.
The only solution I can come up with is this-make a STRINGENT legal alien worker policy that sets PERMANENT limits on how long someone can stay with a work visa and ENFORCE IT. Build a wall all along the border and staff it with kids in a Civial Corps and pay the kids in college credits and scholarships to state schools. Make the rules stick and fine and/or jail those people, workers and company owners alike, who break them.
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